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Introduction: The Innocent Tuesday Deployment

It was 4:45 PM on a quiet Tuesday. My code was reviewed, my pipeline was green, and I was one click away from deploying a simple "User Preferences" dashboard card. I hit merge, grabbed a cup of coffee, and prepared to close my laptop for the day.

Then, the alerts started.

First, my laptop’s cooling fans began to scream like a jet engine preparing for takeoff. Seconds later, our team's Slack channel erupted with high-severity database alerts.