Divorce, once rare and stigmatised, has become mainstream – 42 per cent of marriages now end this way, meaning nearly half of us who get married can expect to experience it in our lifetime. Just as every marriage is different, so is every divorce. In this column, divorcees reflect on their life-changing experience. Helped by the benefit of hindsight, they share advice and reflections.
Father of two, 38-year-old Alex*, spent 10 years happily married to his husband Adam. But problems arose when they essentially became one person. Interview by Kat Storr
If you were going to write down how you would want your marriage to be, ours would be it. Adam* and I met through friends; we had a very romantic first year with holidays and trips and getting to know each other. He proposed on our first anniversary. It was a big proposal with a treasure trail across Kent and friends were involved in the surprise. Then we got married a year later to the day.
There was a lot of romance and we had a very happy marriage for a few years. We went down the very traditional route, much like both of our parents’ marriages. We subconsciously modelled our marriage on them. This included small things like getting up in the morning together and going to bed at the same time. We essentially became one person and when we look back now, we can see that this is where we went wrong. We were “AlexandAdam” and started to be seen as one entity rather than individuals.
