Recently, singer-songwriter Eric Benét posted a video on Instagram with a random yet very relevant message: Men who avoid thoroughly washing their butts because they think the act itself might seem gay may actually be gay and should wash “expeditiously.” The video drew viral attention, prompting the hosts of The Breakfast Club to discuss it on air. During the conversation, DJ Envy admitted he hadn’t been thoroughly washing his butt for years. It apparently took his wife, Gia, during an intimate shower moment, to express to him the importance of really getting in there.What followed was a mix of comedy and genuine surprise. Clips of the conversation circulated on social media, and the joke-filled comment section exploded to the thousands. Yet beneath all the punchlines and banter lay something worth sitting with. A grown man in his 40s had gone for years without basic hygiene, the result of unspoken rules about masculinity that dictate which parts of a man’s body deserve attention and which are ignored. This raises a bigger question: What else are Black men avoiding for the same reason?This issue is more serious than avoiding a backside lather in the shower. As a physician, I’ve noticed some of my Black male patients shift in their seats and almost reflexively decline when I mention a rectal exam, a quick procedure in which a doctor feels the prostate to check for abnormalities, before I explain its importance. This reaction isn’t random. Studies involving both Black and white men have shown that many Black men find rectal exams unsettling because they subconsciously associate them with gay sex. The underlying cause of this discomfort is homophobia, whether men are aware of it or not, which influences the unspoken rules about which parts of the body should be touched.That discomfort exacts a significant toll, measured in lives lost. Prostate cancer is the most commonly diagnosed cancer among Black men, and its mortality rate is twice that of white men. Colorectal cancer also poses a serious risk, killing Black men at a rate 44% higher than white men. Neither of these cancers need to be fatal. When detected early, both are treatable, often curable. The crucial factor in whether a life is saved or lost is whether a man undergoes screening in time. That gap isn’t due to any biological differences between Black and white men. It’s about timing, whether a cancer is caught early or found too late.Homophobia isn’t the only barrier standing in the way. Medical distrust, shaped by a long history of experimentation and mistreatment of Black communities, keeps many men from seeking care at all. Cost, lack of sufficient insurance and few doctors who share their background (for patients who’d rather see a physician from their community) add further distance. Homophobia, though, is the barrier hiding in plain sight — rarely named, even though it shapes some of the most private and important decisions men make about their own bodies.What does screening actually involve? For prostate cancer, Black men should begin screening in their early 40s because the disease tends to appear earlier in Black men than in other groups. Screening usually starts with a blood test called a prostate-specific antigen (PSA) test. Some doctors also recommend a digital rectal exam, though it is not always necessary. Depending on the results, a doctor may suggest additional tests. For colorectal cancer, screening should begin at age 45. With a family history, a man might need to start earlier, often 10 years before his relative was diagnosed. The most effective test for colorectal cancer is a colonoscopy, during which a doctor uses a flexible scope inserted through the rectum to examine the colon for abnormalities. This procedure is painless, performed under sedation and usually lasts 30-45 minutes. These tests take minutes, but the aversion to them runs much deeper.Here’s the core issue that has to be confronted: For many Black men, resistance to these screenings isn’t about the procedures themselves. It reflects the same discomfort Benét described and the same admission DJ Envy shared on the radio, just expressed in a doctor’s office rather than a bathroom. When parts of the body can be avoided for years in the shower, it’s understandable how prostate exams and colonoscopies can also be avoided. However, silence and neglect of the body have never protected anyone. They have only led to worse health and, too often, early death among Black men. Recognizing homophobia as a root cause isn’t about placing blame, but an invitation to disconnect health from the harmful narratives Black men have internalized about manhood.Somewhere along the way, homophobia subconsciously convinced many Black men that certain parts of their bodies, certain conversations and certain ways of expressing themselves were off-limits if they wanted to be seen as real men.Those beliefs have already cost many Black men their lives and will continue to do real harm until they are challenged. That challenge begins with a man asking the question he’s never said aloud, scheduling the screening he’s spent years avoiding, and walking out having put his life ahead of a limited idea of manhood.Eric Benét and DJ Envy started a conversation that said the quiet part out loud. Now, it’s up to Black men, and the people who love them, to keep it going: in a doctor’s office, in a quiet word between partners or between friends who’ve put off the same appointment. These screenings cause minor discomfort, in exchange for more years of life. That trade is worth making.RelatedHealthcancer homophobiamasculinityBlack men