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There is this belief that once a business occupies the top floor of a glass building, has a polished reception, a finance department and executives who speak fluent corporate jargon, then everything about it must be sophisticated, including paying bills.
Far from it, after years in the business-to-business debt recovery services sector, I can confidently say this is one of the greatest myths in corporate Kenya. The only real difference between a corporate debtor and the neighbour who borrowed Sh500 in the estate is the quality of the stationery used to make excuses. In the streets of Nairobi, someone tells you, "Niko kwa corner, nitumie till." In the boardroom, the same message becomes: "Finance is processing your payment." Different words. Same script.
Corporate collections often resemble a television series with too many seasons and no clear ending. Every week introduces a new dimension to the episode, maybe a new character and another twist to the plot. Episode one begins with confidence. "The invoice has been approved.” Episode two raises hope. "The payment is in the system." Episode three introduces the season of suspense. "The signatory is out of the office." Episode four is the beginning of real drama. "The CFO is travelling." By episode five, the bank has suddenly developed technical issues that seem to affect only one payment. Then comes my favourite line. "The cheque is ready."
