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Key Takeaways
The exhaustion many Black women leaders feel doesn’t match their workload because they’re paying a hidden three-part leadership tax: the performative tax of managing perception, the weight of representation and the navigation tax of constantly reading the room.
Reclaiming energy starts with visibility, not overhaul — stop confusing presence with influence, protect recovery like a meeting, make one strategic cut and redirect that energy toward what actually moves you forward.
For a long time, I thought I was tired because I was working too much. That seemed like the obvious explanation. I held demanding leadership roles, managed complex projects, raised children and carried responsibilities that stretched far beyond any job description. Like many high-achieving Black women, I assumed exhaustion was simply the price of ambition.Then I realized something important: I was carrying burdens that had very little to do with the work itself. I have spent more than 20 years studying this, across two longitudinal studies and more than 600 Black women leaders. I have also lived it. What the research names, my own body had already taught me.Years ago, I found myself leaving meetings completely drained. It was strange — solving difficult problems or making important decisions usually energized me. It took me some reflection to understand that my exhaustion stemmed from the constant calculations I was running beneath the surface. How should I present this idea so it lands well? Have I spoken too much? Have I spoken too little? Who in this room needs reassurance before they can hear what I’m actually saying? Invisible labor like this takes its toll.
