ByDR. BATYA L. LUDMANAUGUST 2, 2026 01:48Updated: AUGUST 2, 2026 01:56Having reached a milestone birthday reminds me that it’s time to reevaluate my lifestyle and tweak areas that could do with improvement. Is a milestone birthday a date on the calendar, an age ending in zero or five, or simply a time when you find yourself saying, “I would like to…”?I hope taking you with me on my journey enables you to look inward and reflect upon where you are, where you would like to be, and what you can do to help you get there.My personal goal is not necessarily to live longer but to live better by challenging myself physically and mentally to have the best life that I can have. What is your goal?In general, we are living much longer, but with all the advances over the past century, are we truly living better? In some areas, yes, but not all. I’ll save a deeper dive into that question for another time.Here are some suggestions, however, that may improve your quality of life now.An illustration of four people focusing on their mobile phone screens. (credit: MAYA LAB/Shutterstock.com)Change your relationship with your phoneThis is important because of its negative impact on our ability to focus, be present in relationships, and make better use of our time. I am not on Facebook, Instagram, and other social media that serve as distractions. I keep my phone mostly on silent, turn off notifications, and give myself seven hours of “do not disturb” every night. That said, I have much to improve.With our constant connectivity to our phones, many of us have developed symptoms of both an attention deficit disorder and addictive behavior. Do you control your phone, or does it control you? What role does it play in your life, and how do you feel about it?Evaluate your sleepI have finally acknowledged that I function better with more than six hours of sleep a night. Sleep becomes more important with age, and we can’t really make up for the hours of lost sleep. Given its contribution to our daily functioning, our memory, and our well-being, it is well worth examining. A short power nap during the day may be great, but a lengthy afternoon sleep may interfere with your nighttime sleep.Setting yourself up for a good night’s sleep with a dark quiet room, cool air, no phone once you begin your bedtime routine, and a comfortable bed and pillows are minimum requirements for sleep optimization.As you get older, nighttime trips to the bathroom become more disruptive, so make sure you succeed in going to and getting back to sleep with relaxation exercises and a sleep mantra of “don’t think, or you won’t sleep a wink.” Before going to sleep, write down whatever stressors might be keeping you awake, and leave them behind. Remind yourself that they are not relevant at 3 a.m.Check out your eating habitsThey say you are what you eat. I typically eat a pescatarian Mediterranean diet and avoid late-night dining. That sounds good in theory, but I’m a professed chocoholic and could definitely improve my eating habits. Given that I am fasting as I write this, I’m very aware of what is true hunger and thirst and what is actually boredom. How balanced is your diet? Does your activity level match your intake? If not, why?Get moving and put pep in your stepGentle exercise is so important for your emotional and physical well-being. Getting out in nature gives you bonus points. For some, this is not so easy. As you age, you may find that you leave the comfort of your home less frequently, have decreased mobility, and have more concerns about balance and falling. Sadly, this may diminish your sense of well-being and result in increased isolation and loneliness, a huge social problem that contributes to depression.Guard your healthAs you age, you may feel that you spend too many hours between making calls for appointments, visiting doctors, and going for frequent tests or checkups. Conversations with friends may feel like organ recitals as you compare your complaints. Can you challenge yourself and your friends to go through your day with nary a complaint about the day or your health? What can you learn?WE ALL panic when we can’t remember things as well as we once did. Many memory issues are naturally age-related, and let’s face it, we all have no shortage of things on our mind in this complex world filled with “noise” and outside intrusions. Even a phone call to a service provider is no longer easy. Making lists can help you plan and stay focused. If you feel, however, that you do have a memory issue, speak with your doctor.Clear your clutterAre you bogged down by stuff? I know that I have more than I need and use. I’m trying to declutter so that I leave less for my family to deal with, hopefully many years from now. Can you make a deal with yourself to get rid of five to 10 “things” a day that you don’t want or use?RelaxationWhere is your quiet, calm, safe place in your heart, your home, or outside? Do you allow yourself to go there often enough? Does it clear your head and enable you to pray, meditate, or relax?RelationshipsWhat would you like to change in your relationships with your family, your friends, and your community? Now is the time. Feeling heard, understood, valued, and appreciated contributes greatly to your happiness and quality of life. Caring about others and knowing that they very much care about you enables you to find meaning in your life and helps you get up each morning.Living with lossesWhether you have had a personal loss of someone or something, are dealing with other losses such as issues around retirement, or are trying to reinvent who you are or want to become, living longer poses different challenges for everyone. You have also had the incredible opportunity to share your wisdom and life experience with others, and that is a gift worth exploring. Would you in hindsight do anything differently?AttitudeA mindset of gratitude, optimism, curiosity, and purpose is the best gift you can give to yourself. See challenges as an opportunity to grow and be the best person you can be.Tisha B’Av is now behind us, and as I finish writing this, with increased threats of attack and elections less than three months away, I know that we must stand united now, more than ever before. Part of my personal challenge will be to see the good, give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and focus on the values that we share. Can you do that as well? If no, why not?If we can truly treat others with the same respect they deserve and would like to be shown in return, we will live a better life – making us a light unto other nations.The writer is a licensed clinical psychologist in private practice in Ra’anana and co-author of the book The Jewish Journey through Loss: From Death to Healing (Koren Publishers). She has written about psychology in The Jerusalem Post since 2000 and specializes in trauma, loss, grief, and bereavement. batyaludman@gmail.com; drbatyaludman.comFollow us on Google