The prosecution: Damien

double quotation markFlowers are a fleeting gesture. Why not buy plants that last years instead?

Flowers are pretty, but they don’t last. Three days and they are half dead. I am not anti-floral, but I don’t get Tolu’s obsession. She buys flowers every week, from wherever she sees a good offer – the stalls near us, the supermarket or petrol station. Because she often buys discounted flowers, they start wilting and dying really quickly.Tolu loves flowers on her birthday – or any other occasion, really. She will head to a friend’s barbecue with a bouquet instead of a bottle, which I don’t get. She says: “But they’re just so pretty.” I think there are better ways to show your love. A plant lasts much longer and a bottle of wine can be enjoyed among friends.If I don’t get Tolu flowers on her birthday, she sulks. Last year, I took her out to a fancy restaurant but she still said “No flowers?” as if the rest of the gesture was insignificant without them.I do make more of an effort to buy her flowers now I know how much they mean to her, but I still don’t really get it. She wants flowers to prove how much I love her, but I show her every day in gestures like cooking dinner or de-icing her car in winter. Gestures that mean something, not objects that die quickly.Her favourites are peonies and dahlias, but these aren’t cheap. We’ve been living together for 16 months and I realised that flowers would be an important fixture straight away. Tolu wants to sign herself up to a weekly flower delivery service using our joint account, but I don’t know if it’s a good use of our money.I want us to use that money on more plants. These are gifts that keep giving, whereas flowers are the opposite. Plants last months or even years, they improve air quality and can become something you genuinely care about. Every time you water one, you’re reminded of the person who gave it to you.Flowers are a fleeting gesture and once they are plonked in a vase, it’s a quick road to death. I find the concept of them quite depressing if I’m honest, whereas plants are a lasting investment. Why buy a week of beauty when you could invest in years?The defence: Tolu