Testosterone is a word that seems to be on every woman’s lips right now. It’s always been thought of as a male hormone, but women produce it too.It’s made in the ovaries and adrenal glands, and, like oestrogen, levels naturally fall during menopause, which is why it’s sometimes prescribed as part of an HRT regime to help with things like libido (the only reason you can get it on the NHS at the moment), cognitive function and energy.My friends had been waxing lyrical about it for two years. ‘Five minutes after rubbing it on my thighs, I dragged my husband upstairs,’ said one. ‘It completely reinvigorated our sex life – I initiated it for the first time in years,’ said another. ‘I feel like I’m in Fifty Shades Of Grey,’ laughed a third.‘Sign me up!’ I thought. Sadly, my hopes of swinging from the chandelier with my husband of 17 years were not to be realised.My private GP prescribed testosterone eight months ago alongside my regular HRT, which consisted of oestrogen gel and progesterone tablets. My brain fog had become embarrassing. I couldn’t remember words, names or even what I’d done the day before. But worse was my sex drive, which had all but disappeared.Blood tests confirmed what I already suspected. At the age of 48, I was fully menopausal, having gone almost a year without a period. My testosterone levels were definitely on the low side and she advised me to try replacement therapy for six months.It came in sachets and I was told to apply just a pea-sized amount to my stomach or inner thigh each day.I excitedly told my husband that this was supposedly the miracle libido treatment for women and that I’d soon be back to my pre-menopause self. He was delighted. By now our sex life had dwindled to once every six weeks; sometimes longer. Testosterone is made in the ovaries and adrenal glands, and, like oestrogen, levels naturally fall during menopause, which is why it’s sometimes prescribed as part of an HRT regime Understandably he’d been hurt by my apparent lack of interest and had quietly wondered whether I’d fallen out of love with him. Not at all. He’s handsome, funny and interesting, and there’s literally no man I’d rather be with.But motherhood, a demanding career as a family solicitor, the relentless mental load and perimenopause had collided to create the perfect storm. By the end of each day I wasn’t yearning for passion, I just wanted sleep.But within days of using the testosterone, I noticed a difference. I felt lighter, more buoyant, and I slept better, which in turn made everything else feel more manageable, from work stress to helping my ten-year-old twins through the 11-plus process.Great, except… where was the sexual epiphany? I eagerly awaited it. A week passed. Then a month. Then three months. Nothing.Yes, I had more energy but I also found myself becoming noticeably more irritable and, dare I say it, angrier. I shouted at my children more, often over silly things like not putting their plates in the dishwasher or taking food into their rooms.My husband’s favourite dad jokes, which once earned an affectionate eye roll, suddenly irritated me far more than they should have. I got cross with him for daring to sit on the couch while I was clearing up after the kids at the weekend, even though there are plenty of things he does that I don’t, like washing the car or DIY.Menopause had already shortened my fuse: I’d become less tolerant of nonsense and more interested in spending time with people who genuinely brought something positive into my life. The upside was that my friendship circle became smaller, but far more meaningful.But this felt different. It wasn’t greater clarity, it was greater intolerance. Like any hormone treatment, testosterone can cause side-effects. Some women report changes in mood, including feeling more aggressiveThen I realised the time between my eyebrow-threading appointments was becoming shorter. I became convinced the hair on my upper lip was growing more quickly and, worryingly, that the hair on my head was beginning to thin. A tache and a bald spot? That wasn’t what I signed up for!Alarmed, I stopped taking testosterone the very next day, though carried on with the oestrogen and progesterone. ‘I prescribe testosterone to at least a quarter of my menopausal patients,’ says Dr Rachel Hines, from the British Menopause Society. ‘Many women come back and thank me because it’s enhanced their lives so much.'But she’s clear that results vary enormously – and points out that low testosterone doesn’t automatically mean low libido.‘Some women have low testosterone and their libido isn’t affected at all. Blood levels don’t always correlate with how you experience symptoms.’She also believes it’s important to look beyond hormones. Exercise, eating well, sleeping better and reducing the mental load can all make a difference: ‘If it’s another thing on the list, when you just want to go to sleep, then sex becomes deprioritised.’Like any hormone treatment, testosterone can cause side-effects if the dose is too high. The most common include acne, oilier skin, increased facial or body hair and hair thinning. More rarely, women can experience a deepening of the voice or enlargement of the clitoris – changes that are not always reversible.Some women also report changes in mood, including feeling more aggressive, although responses vary considerably. At the same time, many others describe feeling like they’ve got their mojo back. They have more confidence, more energy and feel more like the person they used to be.Dr Hines also welcomes the arrival of AndroFeme, a testosterone cream licensed specifically for women, although it’s currently only available privately. Until there’s wider availability on the NHS, many women continue using testosterone gels designed for men, as I did.I never did become the woman swinging from the chandelier. However, I did start exercising more and booking childfree weekends away with my husband to give us more time to be intimate – and that has really helped.Maybe that’s the real lesson. Menopause doesn’t come with miracle cures. One woman’s game-changer is another woman’s ‘not for me’.Sara James is a pseudonym.