Dr. Charis Chambers still remembers her mother telling her to keep her period a secret when she first bled as a teenager. "No one should ever know that you’re on your period," she remembers.Now, Chambers doesn't just talk about her period online − she's made a whole career around talking about typically taboo topics like periods, puberty and sex.Chambers is an adolescent gynecologist, and in her recently released book, "The Period & Puberty Parenting Revolution," she tells readers about one of the more difficult conversations she's had with a patient. The patient was only 12, she wrote, and pregnant."The mom had told her daughter to stay away from boys but had never talked to her about sex. When the girl started her period (in the) last year, her mom told her to use pads but never talked with her about how she could possibly get pregnant," Chambers wrote. "She didn’t think she needed to. Her daughter hadn’t even shown interest in dating. She just didn’t know how this could have happened."Explaining sex and puberty to coming-of-age kids has long been considered one of the most uncomfortable moments of parenthood. But what if it didn't have to be? Chambers has made a whole platform priming parents to have stress-free yet important conversations with their children. The idea is to set kids up to have safe, shame-free experiences later on."Kids are talking about it. The conversation is being had," Chambers recently told USA TODAY. "The question is whether parents are going to opt in to be a part of the voice of that conversation, or whether they're going to leave it up to chance − which means it's being filled with pornography, it's being filled with social media, it's being filled with their friends and older siblings and other people who have no problem talking about it, but don't have the accuracy or the intention that parents would have."Her advice to parents? Let go of your own stigmas and wiggly feelings about sex and periods − which likely came from your own uncomfortable conversations with a parent decades ago."One of the general principles that I want to convey or impress upon parents is to really interrogate what they were told from their parents, and throw away the scripts that don't work," Chambers said. "We have got to stop borrowing scripts that are incomplete and inappropriate, or depart from what we actually want."Honesty is the best policy to prevent shame, promote safetyThe key is to have age-appropriate, honest and accurate communication with kids, Chambers said. She encourages an "early and often" approach to conversations about the body, starting when children are being potty-trained.For example, she said, by using the anatomical names for body parts, parents can remove shame and stigma about bodies early on and give their children the vocabulary they need to advocate for themselves. Explaining how bodies are different and need to be cared for in different ways is appropriate, she said, and sets kids up to have more mature conversations about puberty and sex later on.If your child asks a question, she said, honesty is the best policy."The basis is simplicity and accuracy," Chambers said. "That is as simple as saying, 'Periods are when you bleed. It's about every month. It's normal. There might be a little bit of pain, but there's a lot of good ways to manage that. And mommy has a period.'"Some parents worry that talking about puberty and periods can rob their kids of their innocence."While we want to preserve the joy of childhood, we also have to think realistically about what it looks like to protect our child," she said. "You can balance preserving the joy of childhood while also giving them the tools to navigate real childhood risk and dangers."Make sure your child knows which places are appropriate or inappropriate to touch, and perhaps go further to talk about welcomed and unwanted contact. Kids should know to tell a trusted adult immediately if they are touched in an "off limits" place."We have to have those conversations," Chambers said. "Because not having those conversations doesn't make your kids safer. It makes them more vulnerable."And it's not just up to mothers, she said. Chambers said there's a long history of father-daughter relationships changing or fracturing once puberty and periods begin, which can set girls up to believe they are difficult to be around or understand because of menstruation. "That is a problem," she said.By shutting down conversations or not answering kids' questions, Chambers said, parents can unintentionally send the message that periods and puberty are something to be ashamed of. She's found that parents who are more open about these topics give their children more confidence and self-efficacy."You are raising kids that are going to be adults, who are going to have to make decisions in a world that is full of risk and traumas," she said. "You can only prepare them for it."Madeline Mitchell's role covering women and the caregiving economy at USA TODAY is supported by a partnership with Pivotal and Journalism Funding Partners. Funders do not provide editorial input.Reach Madeline at memitchell@usatoday.com and @maddiemitch_ on X.