See more Daily Mail on Google - save us as a Preferred SourceBy QUENTIN LETTS, PARLIAMENTARY SKETCHWRITER Published: 14:59 BST, 29 June 2026 | Updated: 15:13 BST, 29 June 2026
What are Andy Burnham's people hoping to hide? Reporters at his speech in Manchester were not permitted to ask questions. But at least they were admitted to the venue. Your sketch writer was barred – 'NFI' by remorselessly matey Eyelashes Andy! It's worse than being turned down by the Jehovah's Witnesses.Without a general election Mr Burnham is set to become our prime minister. Here was his chance to summon his powers of oratory and statesmanship to explain what policies he might pursue. This speech at the People's History Museum was therefore an event of national significance. Yet it was treated as some sort of private salon, a chichi gathering for Labour mayors, Labour backbenchers, Labour strategists and the 17-year-old, or whatever she is, who will be Labour's candidate for the now vacant mayoralty of Manchester.Journalists were parked at the very back of the room and they were mocked for their curiosity.The People's History Museum, whose exhibits include Michael Foot's donkey jacket and a 'working-class' anorak worn by Mr Burnham during lockdown, styles itself as 'the national museum of democracy'. Most concepts of democracy include media scrutiny. I have sketched every PM since James Callaghan and they have all, save for one brief blip under Tony Blair (I was booted out of an event in The Wrekin in 2001), tolerated my pudgy presence. Yet Mr Burnham's team think themselves above the salt. Four polite requests for accreditation received a raspberry.Happily the speech was broadcast and I had a few snouts in the room. And so, as Sandy Gall used to say in apartheid days, here goes, even if 'this report was compiled under reporting restrictions of the regime'.Eyelashes himself inched on stage after being introduced by the 17-year-old, whose speech the BBC did not bother to air. There was much 'wow, what a welcome!' amazement before his first real words, which were 'are you ready for this?' Er, that was rather what we were going to ask you, dear heart.He was in his 'Manchester clothes' of dark t-shirt and dark jacket. He re-told a joke about his skimpy running shorts. Two minutes had now elapsed. It wasn't exactly prime ministerial so far. Journalists at Andy Burnham's speech were parked at the very back of the room and they were mocked for their curiosity, writes Quentin Letts Labour's Deputy Leader Lucy Powell waves to the crowd ahead of the event at the People's History Museum in ManchesterThe time for bantz coming to an end, he pushed his spectacles up his nose and settled to some stuff about mayors, the country being 'stuck in a rut' and Westminster and Whitehall having too much 'finger-pointing and point-scoring'. Eyelashes was going to put a stop to that. He was 'a circuit breaker' who would introduce a 'more collaborative politics'. He was going to tame the Whips. The logic of that means taking them off the payroll. Won't happen.The speech was squidgy, everything soft and fluttery, as eyelashes tend to be. 'Problem-solving, not point-scoring,' he cooed. 'Long term, not short term! A new sense of agency, possibility and hope. We will make politics work for you.' Sort of things an aromatherapist says when rubbing essential oils into your stressed shoulder muscles, and the fishtank music starts sending you into a trance.'Face the same way,' he burbled, his delivery treacly, his manner lacking certitude. There were a few hesitant glances at the crowd. Even though he himself would not take questions, he admonished 'an insufficiently accountable state'. The rabbit-dropping platitudes continued to plop-plop. 'Power up' was used as a verb. 'A mission to strive. Place-based collaboration. Complementary industrial clusters.'The last, rousing sentence had to be repeated because he ballsed it up. 'Good growth in every postcode. Hope in hevry heart.' Oops. Hope in every heart. Got it right second time.My informants tell me Ed Miliband did not attend. How uncommonly sensible of him. But that gumby Lucy Powell, apparently our next deputy PM, was there, catching midges in her open mouth, blinking like a myxomatotic goldfish.To revert to my opening question, maybe the thing Andy's aides hoped to conceal was that, behind the eyelashes, there was nothing there. Just scented air.
