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Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column.
Now that we know Ursula von der Leyen won’t be seeking a third term as president of the European Commission — which you should have read about in Brussels Playbook — it’s surely almost time for a radical overhaul of the way the top jobs are handed out.
Instead of there being one commissioner from each member country, we propose the Commission should instead hire people who are ideally suited to the job in question, just like in the private sector. The net should be cast wide — even beyond Europe.
The next Commission president could therefore be former U.K. Ambassador to Washington Peter Mandelson, as he knows the place, is well-connected and… What? Too soon? Okay then, how about bodybuilder-turned-actor-turned-governor Arnold Schwarzenegger? He’s got a lot of qualities that would make him well-suited to the role: experience in politics, speaking more than one EU language, thinking U.S. President Donald Trump is a fool, and if you disagree with him, he could beat you to a pulp. Hard power, not soft power!
