The prosecution: Annabel
double quotation markI don’t want to get his food on my face when I kiss him, and I don’t want him looking silly in public
Teddy has always had a medium-length beard, which I like. But I feel it’s my duty as his partner to gently remind him when he has food in his beard, whether we are out or at home, to avoid people thinking he is auditioning to play a character in Roald Dahl’s The Twits.Cakes and sandwich crumbs can gather in his beard, as well as dangling grains of rice. Eggs are the worst offenders for me – I find egg on anyone’s face gross.Teddy might be saving the food for a snack for later, but most people frown upon a man going around with food in his beard, it’s off-putting. I don’t want to get a smidgen of his food on my face when I kiss him, and I don’t want him looking silly in public.When family members and close friends have said something to Teddy about the food in his beard he gets a bit offended. He tells people to go away and says, “It’s up to me what’s on my face.”He has said I don’t support him publicly when this happens, but I think I do. I try not to be dismissive, and I’ve never shamed him in a group.Telling him he has food on his face is a supportive measure. I try to do it subtly. People will judge him for not being able to wipe his mouth clean as a grown man.Teddy can be pretty dismissive with me, too. At home, I’ve tried waiting until he finishes his meal to tell him. I think, “Is he going to wipe his face down?” But he goes around the house with food in his beard.I’ve stopped telling him as much in the house, but our two kids now raise it when they see him with food on his face. I think they say it kindly.It’s really difficult to have a conversation with someone when they’ve got stuff on their face and I’d like Teddy to reflect on that. In public, I could try to come up with a sign or a signal which may be less confrontational for him. But I’d like to see him practise getting food in his mouth, too.The defence: Teddy
