Dear Jane,For years I've felt like something has been wrong with me.When my husband kisses me, I'm repulsed. When he initiates sex, I just go along with it. Even when he holds my hand, my instinct is to pull away.I was so confused as to why I felt this way, since this was not always the case. When we first met – and even after we got married – we couldn't keep our hands off of each other.I've also loved growing our family – we have two now-teenage kids – and genuinely consider my husband my best friend.But I just couldn't shake this sudden repulsion. And, most importantly, I couldn't figure out what had changed.A few weeks ago, however, I was grabbing coffee from my favorite cafe. The barista was being overly friendly to me, chatting me up and asking me questions, and when she handed me my drink, it had her number written on it.I immediately got butterflies. Then I suddenly felt guilty. Not only am I married, but I had always considered myself to be straight – and had never even considered being attracted to women – so the thought of feeling giddy by a woman flirting with me was surprising to say the least.I brushed it off as just liking the attention at first given the state of my marriage, but those same feelings bubbled up in other ways. I found myself checking other women out in the grocery store aisle, feeling those same 'butterflies' when I saw romances between women in fictional movies, and my sudden attraction to women even presented itself in my, shall we say, adult internet searches.This discovery about my sexuality has admittedly been a thrilling little secret... but has also made me question everything. Do I tell my husband? Do I leave him? Or do I spend the rest of my life repulsed by him?I don't think it's fair to keep stringing him along, but I also am worried about imploding our perfect life together.Sincerely,Guilty Conscience International best-selling author Jane Green offers sage advice on readers' most burning issues in her agony aunt columnDear Guilty Conscience,There are so many layers to this letter, and it is all heartbreaking. You and your husband are best friends, have built a loving family, and yet your physical intimacy is disappointing at best, repulsive at worst.And now, you are discovering what may well be a suppressed sexuality.But this is not unusual. Many women reach midlife and discover that they are not as straight as they once thought or realize that they forced themselves to fit into a hetero-normative world. As they age and become more themselves, they discover their sexual desires may be different than they previously thought.Sometimes, however, there are other things that impact our desire for our partners.Sometimes resentments can become so strong that, even though we love them, there are unspoken feelings, disappointments or betrayals, that can lead to revulsion when they touch us. Because you have found yourself attracted to a woman, it is easy to assume that you are no longer attracted to men, and women are the answer – but that may not be the case.While there is no definitive answer I can give you, it is clear that you need to tell your husband what is going on and be honest about your lack of desire and your suspected attraction to women.Having this little secret may feel thrilling for a while, but it will only cause everything to come crashing down eventually. It might be helpful to see a therapist who can help you figure out if there is resentment between the two of you, and whether there is a spark in your marriage that could be fanned into a flame.But if you do decide that this life is not the one for you, then at least they can help you navigate it in a way that results in the least harm possible.Dear Jane,My sister and I have always been fiercely competitive – but it has reached a new level.I got engaged a few weeks ago, and at my engagement party, she decided to announce that she is pregnant.She could have waited 24 hours at least to tell the world, but no, she just had to make the day about herself. It is so typical of her to do this, too, as she's always stolen the spotlight from me for every important moment in my life.Can you guess when the due date is? My wedding day. And she's asking me to move it to accommodate the birth.The save the dates were delivered the other day, and I immediately got a call from her begging me to change the day of the ceremony because otherwise our parents wouldn't be able to be at the hospital with her, and she wouldn't be able to come to my wedding.I'm furious - she knew I wanted to get married soon after my engagement. I've already put the non-refundable deposit down on the venue, which means I can't switch the date.When I told her no, she accused me of ruining her big day and hasn't spoken to me since.Despite my obvious anger, she's my sister and I do want her at my wedding, but I can't afford to be out thousands of dollars.Sincerely,Selfish SisterDear Selfish Sister,This is such a hard letter to read. Family dynamics can be so complicated, and yet the foundation is love. But it is a mistake to assume that love has to come without boundaries.This situation seems even more painful as it sounds like you have spent years feeling overshadowed by your sister. It is not unreasonable to refuse to change the wedding date given the significant financial loss. Nor is a baby’s due date a fixed appointment – babies often come late, or early.You can write to your sister and tell her that you love her but that it will cost too much money to change your wedding date. Say that you very much hope the baby arrives on a different day so she can be there, but you understand if not.And then, you have to let it go. As hard as it is to contemplate not speaking to a sibling, she is the one not speaking to you. Your only job here is to keep your side of the street clean.She may or may not start speaking to you again. If she doesn’t, as hard as it may be for you to accept, it could be a temporary relief, at least around your wedding day.