My mom was the glue in our family. After she died, the rest of us had to learn her role.

The author (left), shown with her two sisters and their mother, says they have all had to step into new roles since their mom passed away.

Courtesy of Alyssa Wiens.

My mom passed away from cancer in 2019; I was 27, and she was 60. Since then, my dad, two sisters (plus a brother-in-law a couple of years later), and I have remained close and see each other frequently.But while we've been grieving the loss and navigating a "new normal" in the years since, there have been shifts and changes to our family dynamics. It makes sense that things aren't the same, but I've been especially surprised by how much of my mother's role I've taken on.In many ways, losing my mom has required me to "mother" my sisters, my dad, and even myself in ways I couldn't expect. It's not all bad, but it's a hard shift that makes grieving even more complicated.My sisters and I handle family logisticsAs in a lot of families, my mom initiated and coordinated most family gatherings, holidays, and events with our immediate and extended family. Though I'd pitch in to cook or bring something, it was her spearheading the efforts.Now, together with my sisters, I often plan or bring meals for family dinners and communicate with relatives to coordinate plans, taking on the logistics our mom handled. Along with my dad, we rotate through planning or divide up the responsibilities. It's a group effort, and something we have to be intentional about so things don't fall through the cracks.I support my dad differently nowAnother way my role has shifted is in supporting my dad more. When he lost his wife and partner, he also lost the person he discussed family finances and household issues with. I've since stepped into the gap as his sounding board for some decisions I wouldn't have even been privy to before.My sisters and I have also become his first point of contact when he's traveling, needs a pick-up, or in case of emergency.