Got a diary full of weddings this season? It's not as delightful as it sounds.From what to buy the bride and groom to how quickly should you RSVP and whether you can ask for a plus one, there's a myriad of questions to consider - and that's before you've even thought about the dress codes.Thankfully, six experts have revealed their ultimate guide to wedding guest etiquette, including what to wear and whether it's ever acceptable to make an impromptu speech.They also share the acceptable level of tipsiness - even when there's a very tempting open-bar - and how fussy you can really be about the menu.Read on to get all the tips you need for this year's wedding season from former butler Julius Smith, stylist Lisa Talbot, events expert John Austen, wedding photographer Adam Gorham, planner Maruf Ahmed and car expert Didier Di Mario.. The Princess of Wales leaves the royal wedding of Peter Phillips and Harriet Sperling at All Saints Church on June 6 in KembleWHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT... GIFTSIf the couple ask for cash, what is an appropriate amount to give?'Firstly, this scenario depends on your relationship to the couple,' urged Julius. 'If you are family or a very close friend, I believe a monetary gift of £60 per person or giving as a couple, £100, is ideal. However, if you are not close to the marrying couple then £30 will suffice.'However, Maruf insisted that an 'informal minimum' is usually £50 if you're a 'colleague or a more distant connection, or if you're younger and know the couple aren't expecting huge donations'.'The upper end of around £150 or more tends to be more suitable for close family and friends,' claimed the expert. 'If you're part of a friendship group, it might be nicer to go for a joint cash gift instead, then those who are less able to fork out a lot of money can hide in the larger joint amount, as long as everyone in the group is okay with what everyone else paid and it's not going to lead to any tensions down the line.'If you dislike giving cash, is it rude to insist on a present instead?'It's not the end of the world, however, I feel that the couple's wishes trump what you would like to do,' insisted Julius. 'If you feel strongly about giving them a certain gift, perhaps when you next meet up, after the honeymoon, for example, you could hand them it and explain you really want them to have this.'Maruf agreed, saying: 'If the invitation or wedding website explicitly asks for cash, that request should take priority. 'Couples usually choose it to simplify logistics and avoid duplicates, and it's often tied to plans like travel or home set-up. 'If you strongly prefer giving something tangible, the most respectful compromise is to choose a present that's clearly wanted, for example, from a list if one exists, or to add a small, meaningful physical item alongside the cash rather than replacing it entirely.'WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT... INVITES How do you politely decline an invitation to a wedding?'Firstly, you must RSVP as soon as possible and explain you have a prior engagement,' revealed Julius.'If you are close to the couple, then I recommend a chat in person or a telephone call, briefly outlining why you cannot attend is best. Also sending some flowers would be a nice touch.'Can you decline an invite because the wedding is 'too far away'? Maruf said: 'Distance is really about time, complexity and disruption rather than miles. A good test is whether attending turns into a multi-step project that dominates the weekend, such as needing very early travel, complicated connections, or a high likelihood of arriving mid-ceremony.'If it effectively requires an overnight stay or a long journey each way that leaves you exhausted, it is a fair reason to decline, and it is best communicated early.'Julius echoed this statement, saying: 'We have to take into consideration if we have the time, financial means and desire. If not, we have every right to decide not to attend, but again, you must RSVP as early as possible.' Can you ask about bringing your plus one or children if they're not on the invite?Julius suggested banning plus ones was the correct approach to have. He said: 'You have to look at the bigger picture - do the couple have the budget or the space to accommodate more people? 'It is sometimes too difficult making exceptions for one and not another. If they make allowances for one person or a couple, then they face the pressure to allow other people to bring their children and partners, driving numbers up.'Maruf added: 'The default is that if someone isn't named on the invite, they're not included. 'A simple, low-pressure check is enough, and if the answer is no, it should be accepted without trying to negotiate. Guest numbers affect seating, catering, and even the physical layout of the room.' If you're running late or have to cancel last minute, what do you do?Julius said: 'I would recommend dropping a quick message to someone close, such as the best man if possible so he can pass on any necessary messages. 'Also, if in the event you do turn up after the ceremony has started, you must automatically sit at the back of the church, registry office or wherever the ceremony is taking place.'If you're running late just send a short message as soon as you know, ideally to whoever is coordinating on the day or a member of the wedding party (not the bride or groom),' echoed Didier. 'The most helpful update is just to let them know that you're running late and give them a realistic ETA, don't worry about any long explanations as to why you're late. 'If you arrive during the ceremony, don't try to squeeze into the most visible route. Pause at the back, speak to an usher or venue staff member, and wait for a natural break. 'If that's not possible, it's better to stay outside until the ceremony ends than to create a distraction.'If you have to cancel on the day, make it definite and make it prompt. If you were part of any shared arrangements, such as a group taxi or reserved accommodation, mention that in the same message so organisers can reallocate quickly.'If you have a grievance about the above or anything else to do with the wedding when is the correct time and place to voice it?'You really should keep your opinions to yourself,' urged Julius. 'If you feel so strongly about something then do not attend. It would be even worse to show up and have a face like thunder throughout. The day is not about you.'WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT... DRESS CODES David and Victoria Beckham attend the wedding of real Madrid football player Sergio Ramos and TV presenter Pilar Rubio at Seville's Cathedral on June 15, 2019 in SevilleHow loosely are you allowed to interpret the dress code?'The whole dress code can be a minefield so I would recommend people do their research beforehand and don't be afraid to check with the bride in advance exactly what she's expecting from you,' said Julius.He added: 'Also, ladies let's keep it conservative for this one day.'John warned that guests should closely follow the dress code, adding: 'Couples set a dress code so the day looks consistent in photos and so guests do not feel awkward. 'Treat it as a real instruction, not a hint. If you're unsure, go slightly smarter rather than more casual. 'Underdressing tends to stand out more than overdressing. Avoid anything that reads as white, ivory, cream, or a very pale pastel that could photograph white. And if you know the wedding party colour, do not turn up in that exact shade.'White is an obvious no-go for guests - but which other shades will raise eyebrows?Julius claimed: 'The safest option is a beautiful pastel colour rather than a striking bold one. This will most likely have you looking radiant, and nobody will accuse you of upstaging.'Lisa added: 'Ivory, cream, champagne and very pale blush tones can all photograph as white, particularly in summer light, so they're best avoided unless the couple has specifically encouraged it.'I'd also be cautious with anything overly dramatic that could unintentionally pull focus, such as neon shades or very theatrical prints, especially at a more traditional wedding. 'Some guests also avoid black for daytime ceremonies as it can feel sombre, although this rule has softened hugely in recent years when styled correctly.'The safest approach is always to consider the venue, time of day and overall feel of the wedding. A countryside marquee celebration will naturally call for something different to a chic city wedding.' Molly-Mae Hague attends the wedding of Venezuela Fury and Noah Price in May 2026WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT... THE WEDDING PARTY Are you ever allowed to ask to be in the wedding party?'No. It puts the couple in a horrible position because there's no easy way for them to say no without it becoming a whole thing,' said John. 'If you want to be supportive, offer practical help that doesn't assume a role, like giving someone a lift, being on standby on the morning, or checking in on an elderly relative. If you are wanted in the wedding party, you will be asked.'Can you decline being in the wedding party?'Honesty is always the best policy if you feel too overwhelmed,' insisted Julius. 'Explain the reason to the couple tactfully, however, this must be done as soon as you can and if possible, don't mention this to anyone else as they may need to ask another person to take your role and you do not want to make them feel second best.'Can you get out of doing a speech?'There is, but you need to say it early,' revealed John. 'Tell them you're honoured, but speeches are not your thing and you don't want to risk freezing up on the day. 'Then offer an alternative, like a very short toast, reading a message from someone else, or writing something they can read later. You can step back without leaving them with a gap in the order of the day.'Is it ever acceptable to make an impromptu speech?'Ideally not very often as these events are timed,' explained Julius. 'Nobody likes last minute unplanned surprises on their special day. 'Imagine if it falls flat; you will have nowhere to go. You may give a speech, however, if you are encouraged by the bride and groom to do so.''Only if the couple, the toastmaster, or whoever is running the speeches asks you on the day,' John echoed.'Otherwise it can throw off timings, put the couple on the spot, and encourage a queue of extra speeches. 'If you have got something heartfelt to say, tell them one to one, or write it in a card so they can read it properly afterwards.'People often meet future partners at weddings. Are there any single guests who should be off limits?Julius said: 'Hugh Grant's character in Four Weddings and a Funeral met his future wife at a wedding, and of course many real romances have started at various nuptials. 'However, the correct form is anyone part of the bridal party, even if they are single, should not be seen as a potential conquest. 'The ladies are there to execute their duties to the bride and the wedding in general.'What is the earliest it's acceptable to leave and is it OK to slip out, or must you say goodbye?''If know in advance that you have to leave early, then let someone know. You can either tell the best man or the groom. 'If it's for an emergency, then it's ok to slip out in such circumstances. However, you must remember that communication is key. If people know what is happening rather than radio silence, they are more forgiving,' said Julius.Didier said: 'It really depends on what exactly you were invited to and which elements you attended. If you're a day guest, the courtesy baseline is staying through the hosted core, which is typically the ceremony and the meal. If you need to leave earlier than the evening party, doing so after the speeches tends to be the least disruptive point because the formalities have landed and the timetable becomes a bit more flexible. If there's a clear headline moment later, such as the first dance, some couples will want guests staying until that's happened, but many are equally happy if people slip away once the structured parts are complete.'It's generally fine to just slip out. A quiet exit is probably more considerate than making the rounds, because big goodbyes can start a chain reaction of departures and change the energy in the room. If you want to acknowledge the couple, the best time is earlier during a lull or just after the speeches. Keep it brief and warm, then let them get back to the next scheduled moment.'WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT... SOCIAL ETIQUETTE Is it ok to post your own personal photos from the wedding before the bride and groom have shared anything? Of course you won't share snaps of the bride but you want to show off your own outfit.Julius said: 'In an ideal world I would say no. However, if you must then please ask the bride first if she has any objections. It would also be a nice touch to send the photos you plan on posting first for approval.'Adam said: In most cases, it’s better not to, at least not publicly. A wedding is one of the few days where two people have put time into how the story unfolds, and posting early can accidentally reveal details they wanted to share themselves or circulate images they wouldn’t have chosen as the first record of the day. Even when the intent is supportive, an early post can feel like a spoiler, especially if it includes the first look, the aisle moment, the kiss, or any emotional family scenes.'If there hasn’t been an explicit request not to post, a considerate approach is to wait until the ceremony is over and ideally until the couple have posted first, even if that means waiting until the next day. It gives them a chance to tell the world in their own words and avoids the awkward situation where guests’ posts become the main public record before the couple have even had time to breathe. It also avoids muddying the visual “look” of the day. Wedding photography is planned around light, timing, and a cohesive set of images, while phone photos taken in mixed lighting can be unflattering or misleading as a first impression.'You can always share privately rather than publicly and send a couple of pictures directly to the couple, or keep it to a small group so it still lets people enjoy the excitement without turning the day into a live broadcast. Once professional images are shared by the couple, it’s also good etiquette to share those rather than uploading low-light versions, and to credit the wedding photography team when reposting any professional shots.'Lisa said: 'Social media etiquette around weddings has definitely changed, but timing still matters.'Posting a discreet photo of your outfit or a picture from the day is generally acceptable now, but I do think guests should avoid sharing too much before the couple have had the chance to post themselves. Weddings are deeply personal and many couples want to control the first images that appear online.'If you are posting, avoid uploading anything that reveals key moments before they've shared them, especially the ceremony, first dance or intimate family moments. A tasteful outfit shot, a photo of the tablescape or a picture with friends is usually perfectly fine, as long as you're mindful and respectful of the couple's wishes.'WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT... THE FOOD AND DRINK If there is a free bar, what is the acceptable number of drinks to limit yourself to?Julius: 'I would suggest 3 drinks. Obviously, some people will see a free bar as a green light to dive straight in and fill their boots, but we must resist the urge and pace ourselves. Those whose appetite knows no bounds will find out their deeds will not go unnoticed by many of the other invited guests.'How pedantic are you allowed to get with the food? Should you be able to demand a vegan meal or is it only ever to ok to mention if you've got allergies?Julius: 'If you have any allergies, or you are vegetarian or vegan, it is your responsibility to tell either the wedding organiser or the bride and groom as soon as you can, so they are able to cater for you.'If announce you cannot consume anything on the menu right before going into the wedding breakfast, this is poor form, and you may well find yourself not being served anything. There is no harm, however, if the caterer has been given advance warning. On the day, confirm your special requested meal and make yourself known'John: Never on the day! But it is completely reasonable to request a vegan meal in advance on your RSVP, just like you would with allergies or intolerances. Put it on the RSVP clearly and early, and don't treat it as a chance to customise the menu. Vegan and vegetarian meals are usually easy if the caterer knows in good time. It gets tricky when it is raised late, because food is ordered and portioned to final numbers. Alcohol tends to flow at weddings. What is the acceptable level of tipsiness?Julius: 'Nowadays, drinking too much in any social environment is not acceptable and certainly at a wedding it's a no-no Often these events will have a free bar, and one should show self-control and moderate our intake, especially as these are all day events. Nearly everyone possesses a camera phone, so you could easily be captured and then branded with the unwelcomes title of 'the drunken guest'.'John: 'Acceptable is sociable and not sloppy. You need to be able to hold a normal conversation and walk steadily, so pace yourself, drink water alongside your alcohol and make sure to eat properly. A free bar can make it a bit difficult to control yourself if you're having fun so just be cautious with shots and try to stay conscious of how quickly you're being refilled.'A lot of people can go into weddings with all the best intentions then the night just gets away from them once they start drinking, so to the best of your ability give yourself a mental check-in after every couple of drinks. If you're feeling sociable and having a good time - you do not need to continue drinking!' DEFINITIVE GUIDE TO WHAT EACH 'DRESS CODE' MEANS READ MORE: What NOT to wear to a wedding: Expert reveals the outfit choices that will send the bride into a frenzy - especially if you're over 50 - and what to choose instead By Lisa Talbot and Julius Smith MENMorning Suit:Black or grey long jacket, black and grey stripped trousers, double breasted waistcoat, shirt with French cuffs, silk tie, Oxford shoes, top hat optional.Black Tie:A traditional black evening suit, white shirt with French cuffs, black bow tie and patent leather shoes.Lounge Suit: Lounge suit, matching jacket and trousers blue or grey, blue or white shirt, silk tie and Oxford shoes.Smart Casual: Linen jacket with different colour trousers, shirt and loafers.WOMENBlack Tie:Traditionally means a floor length gown, elevated fabrics and polished accessories. However, modern weddings are allowing a little more flexibility, so a beautifully cut satin dress from the high street can absolutely work if the styling feels refined. It's less about the price tag and more about the overall finish.Cocktail:Sits slightly below black tie and is often where guests have the most fun. Think elegant midi dresses, chic tailoring or statement jumpsuits with heels and jewellery that feel occasion worthy. Length of dress should be below the knee, however, arms can be bare and open toe shoes permitted.Formal:Length of dress should be below the knee and covering part of the arms. Court shoes, a hat or fascinator should be worn for outdoors and indoors.Semi-formal:To be polished but softer. You can relax slightly here with floaty dresses, co-ords or a smart midi paired with lower heels. It should still feel considered rather than everyday. Trousers suits can be worn without a hat and open toe shoes.Smart Casual:Where people often get it wrong because they lean too casual. Jeans and trainers are rarely appropriate unless specifically stated. Instead think relaxed tailoring, beautiful separates, elevated dresses and effortless styling. A wrap or slip dress with an optional blazer, wedges or block heels will look nice.