Being a single grandparent is hard work. Babysitting with no back-up can be exhausting, lonely and emotionally draining. Maxine, who divorced six years ago, and works part-time, looks after her three-year-old granddaughter every Friday.
“Because it’s just my granddaughter and me, we have a very special relationship,” she says. “But I’ve always had to have a nap myself as soon as she goes to sleep, and I’m still pretty exhausted at the end of the day.”
Maxine feels that when you’re a grandmother doing childcare, the niceties of communication tend to get put aside. “Sometimes my daughter gets a bit cross and says, ‘Mum, I told you that before.’ But I’m thinking: what about all the other stuff I’m doing for you that’s fine? I come away from a day like that wishing there was someone to offload to.” Leaving such a busy household can also shine a light on how quiet your own is. “When you’ve just left a buzzing little family, it feels a bit sad to go back to an empty house with no one to cook supper. It’s especially hard in the winter when it’s dark when I get home.”
The reality is that most grandparents will end up on their own at some stage, whether that’s through the death of a partner or divorce. Over a third of grandparents live without a partner, while grandmothers are more likely to be single than grandfathers. “Grey divorce” in men and women over 65 leapt up by 23 per cent and 38 per cent respectively from 2005 to 2015.
