Dear readers, let me tell you a true story. When I was six or seven, there was a small fire in our neighbour’s flat. It was not at all a serious fire. And, in fact, the fire was put out through the efforts of all the residents on that floor. We all took buckets full of water and doused the flames in half an hour or so.I have no memory of this family now. But I remember they were very nice and had two children. And they were actually in the the process of packing up their belongings and shifting to another flat when the accident took place.Later that evening, they came to my house and asked for me. “Young man,” they said, “we wish to reward you for your valiant efforts with the buckets. You may come to our house and take as many books as you like.”As far as I can remember, I was not a voracious reader at this point. I read a bit. But not excessively so. And then I went to their house and picked up a stack of slightly charred books. And this changed my life. Because I became a reader. And also, perhaps even more severely, I became a procurer of books.My parents were relieved. Okay look, they said, Sidin is not only well-behaved and handsome but also a bookworm. Praise the lord. He has heard our prayers. And then what did they say right afterwards? “Sidin, please put that book down. Don’t read when other people are there. It is very bad manners.”Dear readers who were parents of small children in the 1980s and ’90s, why were you people like this? Why did you torture us book-readers? Do you think we want to sit with 35 other family members and hear about coconut plantations, inflation or P.V. Narasimha Rao? No. We just want to help Nancy Drew overcome neighbourhood criminality.Fine. I know what you guys are saying. You are saying: Sidin, this happened in the past. Perhaps, it is time to bury old grudges.No. No. A thousand times no. And I will tell you why.Because of a new scourge that is wreaking havoc through households all over India and possibly the world: elderly people spending all day on their phones watching brain cancer.Make no mistake readers, I am completely in favour of people consuming any and all content at all times. Except Formula One racing. What is this F1 nonsense? Nothing more than competitive traffic.No. My issue is with the same people, who castigated me for having the audacity to pick up books in the company of others, now sitting and watching YouTube during family get-togethers. I was not allowed to partake of James Joyce, Franz Kafka, Jane Austen or Hardy Boys. But you can watch random people doing an incompetent group dance in front of waterfalls?This is absolute and total shenanigans. And what is worse, they will still not allow me to pick up a book or a magazine. Oh look, they will say, this fellow has not changed his antisocial tendencies since he was 10 years old. And then suddenly, from one corner, Instagram reels will start playing.Friends, I am tired of this duplicitous behaviour. However, I am scared of shouting at my elderly relatives. So, I would be obliged if you could somehow convince them?All over the world, governments have started banning social media for children. I think, perhaps, they have this the wrong way around. Perhaps, we should ban it for people above the age of 65. And also for people below the age of 20. People between the ages of 20 and 65 may be allowed.But before we campaign for this legislation, I think we must first come up with a word to capture this skullduggery. Where the same elders who prevented us from reading in public places now demand that they have instantaneous access to news and viral videos in every circumstance, including at weddings, funerals, birthday parties, housewarming parties, etc.And that word is: screeniority.Example sentence: “At his niece’s wedding, Piyush uncle exercised full screeniority by watching the entirety of Sholay without any headphones.”Have you witnessed screeniority in your household? Did you admonish your elders for this duplicity? Did you do this without getting removed from last wills and testaments? Please tell me how immediately, via email.The writer helps early stage companies communicate better. He blogs at www.whatay.com.