My daughter just graduated from high school, and it nearly broke me. I had to turn my grief into pride.

The author (right) was devastated when her daughter graduated from high school.

Courtesy of Oskar Saville

Last month, I was opening a cardboard box full of graduation robes. It was a normal service day of mothers helping out for the upcoming event. The room was filled with women making sure life goes as planned.And then there was me, suddenly drenched in sweat as I tried to rip open the plastic bag where one of the robes was encased. I found myself in this bizarre experience; I knew I was there to get the graduation robes out and hang them on the clothing racks. But my body suddenly shut down. I burst out crying.I wanted to run, but I was trapped between women pulling name tags off sticker sheets, young children laughing, fluorescent lights peering down at me, and my own daughter, the inevitable graduate, sitting down the hall waiting for me to finish.In that moment, it finally hit me: my daughter is graduating from high school. My body was warning me that the home I had built with my children was about to crumble.Being a mother to my children was what I always wantedWhen I left the building, I took a walk and thought about my daughter. I often spoke about her graduating. But the "when" of her graduating was what I was in complete and utter denial about.In my mind, this event was somewhere in a distant future — maybe even another lifetime.Just as I opened the door of my apartment, it hit me. I had no vision for my family, beyond smallhood. Becoming a mother has always been my goal. As a kid, I dreamed of the day I could raise children of my own with love and care.