Like a Czech penalty rocketing towards the back of the Ireland net, the World Cup is almost upon us – which means wall-to-wall soccer but also an onslaught of terrible anthems inspired, if that’s the word, by the beautiful game. These range from Dai Dai, the exhaustingly upbeat new Shakira-Burna Boy collaboration, to the inevitable return of the seeming orgy of postimperial self-pity that is Three Lions by The Lightning Seeds, Frank Skinner and David Baddiel. The song can come across as one of the most wretched outpourings of jingoistic self-absorption committed to record. But then we in Ireland are in no position to scoff, given the long-term psychological trauma inflicted by Put ’em under Pressure, our own unkillable soccer theme from 1990, which encourages Irish people to burst into an “olé, olé, olé” chant whenever two or more gather in public. We should hang our heads – and certainly never sing “olé, olé, olé” again. But push past these usual suspects and there are some great soccer bangers out there. You just have to know where to look.10: Strachan, by The Hitchers (1997)The Scotland midfielder Gordon Strachan grabbed a slice of World Cup history with a goal against West Germany in Mexico in 1986. He celebrated by running towards the advertising board, intending to leap over and salute the fans. He immediately thought better of it, however, and settled for putting one leg up on the hoarding – a gesture both triumphant and slightly futile, so the perfect metaphor for Scotland at the World Cup.That was as good as it got for Strachan on the world stage. He did, however, inspire the Limerick indie band The Hitchers, who paid homage to the former Manchester United and Leeds United player in a song in which the narrator has an argument with his girlfriend while watching Leeds play Aston Villa. “She waited for the match to start to start a fight up with me” the first verse goes, before the tune welcomes a “tiny wee Scotsman” when “the greatest midfield artist of them all walked out on to the park”. It’s Strachan, back for his indie-rock encore.Much like Scotland at the World Cup, The Hitchers were the nearly men of 1990s alternative rock. The band’s frontman (and drummer), Niall Quinn, sang with The Cranberries only to be replaced by Dolores O’Riordan. The Hitchers were well regarded by critics without really going anywhere. They did, however, write one of the greatest soccer songs, a tune with the bustle and industry of Strachan in his prime.9: Thiago Silva, by Dave and AJ Tracey (2016)The best grime anthem to have been inspired by a Brazilian centre back, this banger from Dave and AJ Tracey uses the idea of excellence on the pitch as a metaphor for living your best life. The song’s narrator talks about representing their community with a steeliness and presence of mind to match that of Silva, who made his debut for Brazil at the age of 23 and has played for AC Milan, Paris Saint-Germain and Chelsea. What does the player think of the tune? He loves it, having first encountered it via viral footage of a teenage fan named Alex who emerged from the crowd in a PSG shirt to duet with Dave at the Glastonbury festival in 2019. “I’ve never heard of the song before. Sometimes us footballers, we lose the idea of how far a reach and influence we have. It was a really happy moment for me.”8: Together Now, by Jean-Michel Jarre (1998)Qualifying for their first World Cup in 1998 was, understandably, a big deal for Japan. They celebrated in appropriately over-the-top fashion by hiring the French synth-pop savant Jean-Michel Jarre to write this Gallic banger in collaboration with the Japanese drum’n’bass producer TK Komuro, with vocals by 17-year-old Olivia Lufkin. Like a goalkeeper going up for a corner in added time, the song goes all in, with appropriately ridiculous results.7: Fio Maravilha, by Jorge Ben Jor (1982)Alongside stylish forward play and impressively dystopian architecture, one of Brazil’s great contributions to global culture is the musical genre of Tropicália, an unlikely yet wholly compelling fusion of samba and bossa nova rhythms with psychedelic rock. That’s the territory we’re in with this melancholy yet ferociously funky tribute to the 1970s Flamengo forward João Batista de Sales (better known as Fio Maravilha), written in honour of the goal he scored against the Portuguese giants Benfica at the Estádio do Maracanã, Rio de Janeiro, in a 1972 friendly.The plucky striker, who had come on with 15 minutes to go, put the ball spectacularly in the net – prompting Jorge Ben Jor (think Brazil’s answer to Joe Dolan) to write a ditty praising his “angel goal”. There’s an unhappy kicker, though: so successful was the tune that Fio sued, forcing Jorge Ben Jor to change the lyrics and remove the striker’s name. The player would mellow towards the song over time, however. In 1994, by when de Sales was living in San Francisco and working as a pizza-delivery driver, he had come to appreciate the tribute Ben Jor had paid. “Now that he has taken my name off it, everyone knows who Fio Maravilha is,” he said. “People remember me for that. If it was just for the football, I wouldn’t be as well known.”6: L’Estate Sta Finendo, by Righeira (1985)In the summer of 1985 this frothy piece of Euro-escapism by Righeira, a pop duo from Turin, reached number 35 in the German charts and was a dance-floor hit across the Continent. The song (its title translates as Summer Is Ending) took on a second life when supporters of L’Aquila 1927 (today toiling in Series D) adopted it as a terrace chant. It soon went viral, with Genoa, Juventus and Napoli ultras singing their own versions, starting with the line “Un giorno all’improvviso” (“One sudden day”). Crossing the language barrier, it was adapted by English-speaking supporters under the name Allez Allez Allez – and has since became an anthem for all seasons. The Cork City version, for instance, begins, “Since I was a young boy / my father said to me / always be a good boy / and follow Cork City,” before finally arriving at the “allez, allez, allez” chorus. The song has also been taken up by Atlético Madrid, FC Porto, AFC Ajax and other clubs.5: Kasey Keller, by Barcelona (2000)Kasey Keller, the United States and former Rayo Vallecano goalkeeper, famously kept a clean sheet against Brazil when the US men’s national team won the semi-final of the 1998 Concacaf Gold Cup – only to then go down to Mexico in the grand decider. He made 10 point-blank saves in the game, prompting the Brazil striker Romário to declare it the best performance by a goalkeeper he’d seen. His heroics were honoured two years later by the Washington DC electropop band Barcelona in a tune that lands like a cross between the theme to the BBC’s Match of the Day and a sports-adjacent version of Human League song Don’t You Want Me.4: Theme from Sparta FC, by The Fall (2003)The Fall keyboardist Elena Poulou was married to Mark E Smith, the group’s curmudgeonly taskmaster, for 15 years. Before they split, both musically and romantically, she inspired their great anthem Sparta FC, on which Smith draws a stingingly witty contrast between the terrace culture in England and Greece.The tune is written from the perspective of a Greek fan who bears a grudge against Galatasaray and Chelsea, Smith explained. “Elena came up with some great words and I added some words I thought were like the Greek football fans’ attitude, you know. I do know quite a few Greek football fans, and their attitude to soccer is completely different to Britain,” he said. “Sort of cobbled it all together, put a Greek motif on the guitar and that was it.” Theme from Sparta FC opened doors for The Fall, especially at the BBC, where it soundtracked the Final Score sports round-up from 2005 to 2009 – which in turn led to Smith reading the soccer results in November 2005.3: World Cup Fever, by Air Miami (1994)This mid-1990s indie gem does exactly what it says on the tin. Written as the US basked in the delirium of hosting the 1994 World Cup, it was recorded by the songwriter Mark Robinson at Criteria Studios, Miami. It deserves a wider audience: at just two minutes and 11 seconds, it’s the perfect indie pick-me-up. The song was inspired by Robinson’s fondness for polyester shorts and football boots, which he wore on stage during a tour with his previous band, Unrest – prompting a bandmate to declare that he had “World Cup fever”. Don’t we all.2: World in Motion, by New Order (1990)Before New Order, soccer songs were invariably atrocious – though the Manchester synth-pop pioneers had done their best to correct that trend by writing the theme to the late-night British regional television sports show Best & Marsh: The Perfect Match, featuring George Best and Rodney Marsh. Stumbling upon the tune late one night, the Football Association’s PR at the time, David Bloomfield, contacted the head of New Order’s record label, Factory, and suggested a collaboration. As it happened, Factory’s owner, Tony Wilson, knew a few things about the beautiful game – just not the version codified by English toffs in the late 19th century. Best friends with the Meath manager Seán Boylan, he had cheered from the stands when Meath won the 1987 All-Ireland against Cork – one of the most striking displays of “total football” this side of the Dutch at the 1974 World Cup.One thing led to another and suddenly the England winger John Barnes was in the studio with New Order, recording the rap that makes up the most memorable part of the tune: “We ain’t no hooligans / this ain’t a football song / three lions on my chest / I know we can’t go wrong.” The song was a huge hit – although the FA vetoed the original title, E is for England, and the lyrics “E is for England, England starts with E/ We’ll all be smiling when we’re in Italy”, fearing it might be taken as a reference to the drug ecstasy. An amusing postscript is that New Order dragged the track’s cowriter Keith Allen (father of Lily Allen) on stage at Reading Festival in 1998, meaning that any Irish New Order fans in attendance were swept up in a scrum of people singing the refrain “We’re singing for England ... Inger-land!” Happy days.1: Give Him a Ball (and a Yard of Grass), by Sultans of Ping FC (1993)The Sultans’ connections with soccer ran deep. The band’s drummer, Morty McCarthy, founded the fanzine No More Plastic Pitches and was a keen Cork City FC fan. The postpunk band were also contemporaries of the Cork soccer great Roy Keane. This standout track from their debut album, Casual Sex in the Cineplex, is often assumed to be a tribute to the take-no-prisoners midfielder. But it was inspired by Keane’s then manager, Brian Clough; the lyrics consist almost entirely of Cloughie quotes. The title comes from a statement Clough made about the Scottish winger John Robertson: “Give him a yard of grass and he was an artist. The Picasso of our game.” Clough likewise inspired the line “If God meant the game to be played up there/ He would’ve built goalposts in the air”, a gem of wisdom that shines through this brilliant song.