I wasted 6 weeks on Google Play's closed testing. Here's what finally worked.

I need to vent. And maybe save someone else from the same nightmare.

The backstory

I'm a solo Android dev. I've been working on my app for about 4 months — evenings, weekends, the usual indie grind. I finally got to the point where I was ready to publish on the Play Store.

Then I hit the closed testing wall.

If you haven't dealt with this yet — Google now requires you to run a 14-day closed test with at least 20 testers who are actually engaged. Not just opted in. Not just installed once. Google tracks whether your testers are genuinely using your app over those 14 days.