All credit to Jennifer Lopez; she knows how to sell a film. Plugging her latest – a Netflix rom-com titled Office Romance – she has leaned heavily into her 'chemistry' with her co-star, the British actor Brett Goldstein.She told chat show host Andy Cohen that, of all her leading men, 'he was the best kisser'. Brett Goldstein shot back: 'I've got a hot new theory on how chemistry works: it's magic. Sometimes it works with someone, and sometimes it doesn't.'It's about being intensely present with each other and admiring your co-star while you're filming. If you're both connected like that, you get chemistry.'The sizzle between the pair appeared tangible – so much so that this week she complained about the media 'pairing her off' with another of her co-stars.The fact she married one of her co-stars (Ben Affleck) seemed to have slipped her mind – as does the fact that it was her who set the rumours of a romance with Goldstein flying in the first place.So-called 'showmances' are, of course, a tale as old as time, especially when there's a movie to promote. But one almost feels sorry for Goldstein, a privately educated 45-year-old from Sutton, Surrey, who has been taking Hollywood by storm. Jennifer Lopez has told chat show host Andy Cohen that, of all her leading men, British actor Brett Goldstein 'was the best kisser'For while J.Lo is publicly blowing hot and cold on him, he has such a raging crush on her that the whole concept of their film – which he wrote – was specifically engineered so she would play his onscreen love interest.It seems to have been an obsession long in the making: four years ago, while promoting the TV show Ted Lasso in which he stars as sweary midfielder Roy Kent, he was asked about Lopez who had then just reunited with Ben Affleck.He said: 'I believed that, one day, I would marry J.Lo.' You might think that was just a joke but Goldstein went on to write this film with J.Lo, his fantasy woman, in mind.At 56, she has been a byword for desirability for decades, so perhaps you can hardly blame him.He later said: 'We sent it to her with a note that said, 'We wrote this for you. You're at the top of our list. It's a list of one. If you don't do this, we're not going to make this film, but no pressure. Hope you enjoy it!''Thank God it turned out she did actually like it.'Given J.Lo's reputation as something of a rollercoaster when it comes to love you can see why people have been predicting on social media that the pair will be 'engaged by Christmas', despite both actors since clarifying that they're not dating. Jennifer Lopez and Brett Goldstein star in Netflix rom-com Office Romance togetherAccording to friends of Lopez, she says she isn't in the market for a romance so soon after her very public divorce from Affleck.She needs to work out how to be happy on her own, they say. After four failed marriages and six engagements, this could be a wise move.Yet, in truth, she could do a lot worse than Brett Goldstein – who carries little of that 'bad boy' vibe she's previously found so dangerously intoxicating (see, for example, her relationship with the now incarcerated P Diddy).That's, however, not to say that Goldstein has led a sheltered life. Born in 1980 in suburban Sutton to wealthy parents Howard and Vivien, his life took a somewhat surprising turn 25 years ago when, while he was at Warwick University, his parents split up.As documented in a 2012 interview in The Times, Goldstein describes the story of how, freshly single, his father and a friend went out to a strip club. They 'had a brilliant time' and decided to set up their own version in Marbella.It took a year to build it, by which time Goldstein – who had attended Sevenoaks School in Kent – had completed his degree in film and feminism and took a job at his father's club. Father and son then had to audition strippers at a motorway hotel in Spain, which he described as a 'very odd' experience.His father – a really sweet man, he says – even took him on a research trip to Stringfellows before they flew out. He didn't want to objectify the dancers, so tried to only look them in the eyes.'She would be waving her bum in my face and I'd be: 'I'm looking in your eyes, I'm looking in your eyes'. One girl said to me: 'Look at my ass.' I was going, 'I shouldn't, it's disrespectful…' And she was like: 'This is what I'm doing! It's disrespectful not looking at me!' I found it stressful getting a lap dance.'He found the job in Marbella difficult, and it can't have helped that his father decided to go back to his wife within a few days, leaving his son in charge for two years.Goldstein said of his time there: 'The girls all came out saying they'd just do a month, make a bit of money, get out while the going was good. They'd all still be there six months later.'The reason the job is dangerous is, it's not about the dancing. The getting naked is the least of it.'The way you make money is sitting down and making a man fall in love with you. You get a regular, you sit with him, you're like a psychiatrist. You laugh at all his jokes, you make him feel special, he falls in love with you, he pays you £500 to sit there, he comes again and he comes again.'It's a really tricky game, though, because you sort of have to make him think that one day he'll sleep with you. Without sleeping with him. Because if you do sleep with him he's not going to be a regular any more.'He observed some relationships between clients and strippers which didn't work out. 'They'd fallen in love with a fantasy. And they weren't this fantasy, they were just this girl in a tracksuit.'It was a character-forming experience. He joked in the interview: 'I think I'm f***** because of it.'He then went to drama school in New York and wrote a one-man stand-up show called Brett Goldstein Grew Up in a Strip Club, which was a success at the Edinburgh Fringe. (Despite glowing reviews, you won't find it on YouTube: Brett scrubbed everything from the internet.)As for his parents' marriage, a friend tells me: 'Vivien took him back and they are still together now. She is a very strong and forthright woman.'Sadly, Howard is now in poor health and Goldstein has confirmed his father has Parkinson's. My understanding is the progressive neurological disorder has robbed him of the power of speech.Goldstein remains close to his family. A fanatical Tottenham fan, he and Howard used to go to watch Spurs play every other week when he was a boy. Even the name of his character in Office Romance, Daniel Blanchflower, is a tribute to the greatest player in the history of the club.He is also a very loving and enthusiastic uncle to his sister's children according to friends.Add to this his evident talent – with two Emmys under his belt, writing and starring in Ted Lasso, devising the comedy drama Shrinking and presenting 300 episodes of a successful film podcast – you almost wonder why J.Lo hasn't snapped him up.A family friend says: 'He did have a very long-term and serious girlfriend before he got famous. I think they were together for more than five years. 'She was not in the business. They split up when he was just on the cusp of getting famous. More recently he has been on the dating apps.'The friend adds: 'He is a very private person and his family are all very protective of his private life. They are proud of him but they hardly talk about him anymore.'For his part, Goldstein has admitted his unusual youth in strip bars left him with 'definite commitment issues'. He said: 'It affected my world view in a good way and a bad way. I think it made me not trust people a lot. Because you're watching people trick people all day. Both men and women. Everything is real and everything is fake.'Which sounds like perfect preparation for the hall of mirrors which is showbusiness – with or without an A-lister girlfriend at his side.