Katherine Ryan had her fourth child, Holland, seven months ago. Since then, the 42-year-old comedian has written her book First Born Daughter, which will be published in October; had a facelift (we’re chatting over Zoom and her face looks incredible), as well as recording her podcast and appearing on television 10 days after giving birth.
She’s one of the most dizzyingly productive, highly capable and brilliantly funny women in the country, with four children: Violet, 16, Fred, almost five, Fenna, three, and baby Holland, yet even she is clear that “having it all” is a myth.
“I think I achieve attachment parenting along with having a career, but you can’t have it all at the same time,” she tells me. “So it just means that I get no sleep, and I have no friends. I respond to my children’s needs immediately; I breastfeed for as long as I can and I carry them in my arms as much as I can. I co-sleep with them.
“But it’s a weird paradox for me, because I’m also a working mum and I’ve done two national tours since we started having the smaller babies. It’s just been a stretch. It’s difficult to parent the way I want to and have a career the way I want.”
There’s something disarming about hearing her describe the reality of “survival mode” parenting very young children. “You’re just living day-to-day. And I’m very privileged: Bobby [Kootstra, her childhood sweetheart, who she got back together with after 20 years apart, father to her three youngest] stays home and we have a babysitter during the week. I know that I have help, but it is still bananas,” she says.
