06 Jun 2026
issue 06 June 2026
Comments
Q. I have been working in a large restaurant alongside a very attractive, although shy, girl. I live near the restaurant and she has come back for drinks on a few occasions. She seems to enjoy my company but I have been too feeble to take things further. I fear that if she does not find me attractive, I could ruin our friendship by making a move. What should I do? – Name withheld, London W6
A. Step one: buy a Feverscan thermometer. This liquid crystal strip is held on to one person’s forehead by another, thus requiring a degree of physical intimacy. Step two: ask the girl to your flat along with another colleague. When they arrive, act slow-witted and say you are feeling odd. At an opportune moment fetch the Feverscan and ask the girl if she would be kind enough to take your temperature. Stage this while standing near a sofa to allow you to swoon into her arms. (All this is done in the safety of the colleague’s company.) Should she respond to your collapse with physical stiffening you will know the score. Should you sense that the brief propinquity ‘pinked’, you may, with confidence, fasten your lips on to hers in the future.
