There had been rumours during SATs, but apparently it’s rife once GCSE season kicks off. Parents obviously never gossip about or judge how others choose to bring up their kids – insert wry look to camera here – but word on the street at my son’s school was that some parents were paying their children for getting good grades. The higher the mark, the more moolah. Now, experts have gone on record confirming that this isn’t a great idea, which is reassuring but also slightly irrelevant, as there is absolutely no way I would have done it regardless.
Therapist and coach Natasha Nyeke says offering readies for results “can unintentionally reinforce the idea that their worth is linked to achievement”. She adds that, “For some children, this can increase pressure, anxiety and perfectionism, especially if they are already prone to being hard on themselves.”
Although we would, and have, congratulated our 11-year-old for a school report or test score by taking him out for a treat, or sometimes getting him a small present if there’s an item he’s been dropping extremely unsubtle hints about, there’s something about cold hard cash that feels unbelievably mercenary. Like a business transaction.
We don’t promise our son a reward only if he achieves some arbitrary goal. It’s not conditional, and it’s not guaranteed. It’s a surprise bonus, recognition of his labours, a cherry on the cake of him feeling proud of himself for trying his best and working hard.
