Two months ago, I was asked out by a 31-year-old man at the gym. Tall with biceps the size of my thighs, he was staggeringly good-looking. The old me would have assumed there was a catch, would have avoided eye contact altogether. But I agreed to meet him at a local bar for drinks and could barely contain my excitement.My handsome young date was already waiting at a table for me when I arrived. He had correctly guessed what I’d like to drink – an Aperol Spritz – and was confident and flirtatious. He kept touching my arm every time he laughed, and my body fizzed with desire each time he did so.Later, he invited me back to his home to ‘watch something’. We both knew we would head for the bedroom, where the chemistry between us was electric.Afterwards, he commented: ‘You’re so refreshing. Women my age are always so dramatic.’A backhanded compliment, admittedly, but I brushed it aside because the connection between us had made me feel alive, invigorated, as if I were in my 20s – rather than 16 years his senior.It was a risqué dalliance that only a couple of years before I would have thought unwise and more than a little distasteful.Back then, I went for the distinguished older man who enjoyed the finer things in life. To me, a carefully planned date at a restaurant with a named chef, that showed thought and attention to detail, appealed far more than spontaneity. My interest in sex had waned to the extent that prowess between the sheets was low on my list of priorities.So why the sudden change?I put it down to ‘the change’ – or, more precisely, the HRT I was given to alleviate my perimenopause symptoms.Before Emma Morris started HRT, she went for the distinguished older man who enjoyed the finer things in life, and her interest in sex had waned Since I started on it two years ago, it’s as though my libido and sexual preferences have received a system upgrade. Not only has HRT kickstarted my interest in intimacy, but the type of men I find attractive has totally transformed, too.At 47, I’ve been single for a decade, after splitting with the father of my 11-year-old son. I had assumed my days of swinging from the chandeliers were long gone, and I was totally fine with that. If I did bother dating, I went for dependable types.Now, though, much to my own surprise, it’s young, musclebound hunks I go for, and the less committed the better. I must be emanating some kind of newfound confidence or a certain insouciance because these are exactly the kind of men who appear to be attracted to me, too.But I’m not the only menopausal woman experiencing sexual regeneration.One of my closest friends, who’s 49 and also on HRT, is ahead of me, having been dating younger men for three years. Like me, she eschews dating apps but finds connections at the gym.She recently joined a luxury £150-a-month health club where the men are richer and, according to her, even more attractive.Could this be the real reason why more women our age are hitting the gym these days? So many have apparently fallen in love with weight-lifting, but perhaps there is a hidden agenda – they’re all on HRT with libidos raging?Anonymous messageboards across the internet are full of menopause discussions between women confessing they’re having the best sex of their lives with men decades younger. Thread after thread confirms that HRT has restored the libido and confidence of thousands of women like me, with some describing feeling ‘desirable again’, and making a beeline for much younger partners because their ‘sexual appetite had roared back to life’ and older men no longer cut it. Could the real reason why more older women than ever are hitting the gym these days? So many have apparently fallen in love with weight-lifting, but perhaps there is a hidden agenda – they’re all on HRT with libidos raging?And academic research appears to back this up. A 2025 study published in Sexual And Relationship Therapy found that older women dating younger men reported higher sexual satisfaction, arousal and orgasm rates than younger women dating older men.Research from The Journal of Sex Research – based on interviews with women aged 30 to 60 who date younger men – found many felt more sexually confident and assertive, and prioritised pleasure more in those relationships.And as the number of women prescribed HRT has tripled in a decade, 2.6million of us are not only treating our crippling symptoms, but getting our libidos back, too.Scientists believe that restoring declining hormone levels improves sleep, mood, blood flow and vaginal sensitivity, while also reigniting the brain chemicals linked to desire, pleasure and intimacy. Well, that certainly seems true in my case.As welcome as this boost to my love life, it is certainly unexpected. I enjoy a successful career as an executive in the travel industry and share my lovely home in west London with my son. I split amicably from his father when he was two and initially focused on raising him; dating just wasn’t on my radar.It wasn’t until I was 37 and my son had started school that I thought about relationships. At that point, I set the age range on apps to men a decade older. I’d never have countenanced a younger man. As a successful career woman, I wanted a man who could match me, someone with whom I could share a luxurious home and fabulous holidays.Sex was an afterthought. I certainly didn’t crave intimacy in the way I do today.Two years ago, sleeping became an issue. I’d climb into bed exhausted, only to lie there staring at the ceiling for hours. And when I finally did drift off, I’d wake again at 3am, restless and frustrated.At first, I convinced myself it was my bedroom set-up. Perhaps my mattress was too old? Maybe my pillows had lost their support?Determined to fix the problem, I became almost militant about my bedtime routine. I’d be in bed by 10pm sharp, banned myself from scrolling on my phone or tablet for at least an hour beforehand, and even dabbed lavender oil onto my pillowcase in the hope it might lull me into some sort of peaceful eight-hour marathon. Nothing worked.Then came the hot flushes. I’ve always been someone who feels the cold terribly but suddenly I’d find myself burning up at the strangest times – standing in the kitchen, sitting watching television or waking in the middle of the night feeling as though someone had turned my internal thermostat up to maximum.I was 45 at that point, but thought I was too young for the menopause – though a call to my mum and older sister soon disabused me of that idea. Mum had started symptoms at my age and my sister warned me that she’d gained two-and-a-half stone during the perimenopause.At first, I tried stocking up on supplements, including evening primrose oil. But after two months, nothing had changed, so I made an appointment with my GP who immediately prescribed HRT – oestrogen gel and progesterone capsules.With my sister’s weight gain in the back of my mind, I joined the local gym to keep my figure in shape. At 6ft, I’ve always been tall and slim; I didn’t want to lose my figure like her.Within two months of starting HRT, I started to notice the young men working out alongside me. I found myself gazing over at their physiques, utterly mesmerised, while discreetly watching them in the full-length mirror as they squatted, flexed and sweated during their workouts. Research, based on interviews with women aged 30 to 60 who date younger men, found many felt more sexually confident and assertive, and prioritised pleasure more in those relationshipsWhen I confessed my ‘gym crushes’ to a friend, she set me up with a younger man from her work. He was 30, tall, with a typical gym-influencer physique: muscular thighs and arms and a very flat stomach.Perhaps it goes without saying that previously I was very conservative about sex on the first date. It was one of my absolute no-nos. Heavens, I’d never even had a one-night stand before.But on the date, the connection between us was electric – and I knew he felt the same way too – that’s why I found myself agreeing to go back to his place. As he took my hand and led me into his bedroom, sheer wanton desire for this gloriously gorgeous man pulsed through me. We had sex several times that night and the only word for it was mind-blowing. He was experienced enough to know exactly how to satisfy a woman yet, unlike the older men I had dated before, he had the energy to match mine.Outside the bedroom, we didn’t have a great deal in common – I have no interest in Marvel films, football or crypto currencies – but we saw each other for a few weeks. And it was wonderful to feel so sexually fulfilled.Buoyed by this new-found confidence, when other young men made eyes at me, I reciprocated. I went on a few dates with Richard, 30, 6ft 4in, with adorable cherubesque blond curls and the body of a Greek god. In the end, we agreed we were both happy not having a relationship with one another, but were perfectly content having regular sex.As crass as it sounds, neither of us wanted to date the other one, but he wanted to sleep with an older woman and I wanted a younger man. It was an acceptable arrangement for both of us and it went on for a few months.The younger men Emma dates don’t rarely worry about her age. Usually, they guess she’s in her late 30s and she doesn’t correct them. On the one occasion when she told the truth, the 29-year-old guy said: ‘You’re the same age as my mum!’ I couldn’t believe the difference in me. While others might assume I’d be unsettled by this, that wasn’t the case at all. Rather I felt completely liberated in pursuing my desires. It was as though the HRT had given me permission to indulge and, truthfully, it was liberating to do as I pleased. After all – precisely who was I hurting?It was such a contrast to my last experience of dating before HRT. I had been seeing a 60-year-old entrepreneur who was active and worked out but, even though he was semi-retired, everything had to be arranged in advance. Spontaneity was a foreign concept.He lived in Sussex, so two weeks in advance we’d arrange to meet at a hotel. The evening always followed the same pattern: we’d check in, have dinner, shower and then have sex. As inexplicable as it is to me now, this suited me at the time. But the new me would have found this deadly dull.What I like about younger men is that they live in the moment. Take Jason, a 32-year-old I got chatting to at the gym over New Year. We liked each other, we knew what we wanted from each other and so we went for it. We didn’t sleep together again – I suspect he had a girlfriend – and I knew when I undressed in front of him that it would be a one-off. Therefore no one would get hurt.My 20-something self would have been aghast, but on HRT I’m a completely different person.Of course, I know no man in his 20s and 30s wants to settle down with a woman nearly 20 years older than him. I have treated the past two years as a fun way to keep active and have great sex. One guy in his 20s was rather smitten, but he took me to a home furnishing store and a garden centre so I could help him style his central London apartment. I felt a smidgeon of guilt breaking it to him that I wasn’t his mother or his wife, and that there would never be cosy evenings when ‘we’ curled up on the sofa I’d chosen for him. Right now, I’m not interested in any sort of emotional commitment and I do make this clear up front.That’s why I’m not sure what any of the six young men I’ve slept with expected from me but, quite honestly, I didn’t care.They rarely worry about my age. Usually, they guess I’m in my late 30s and I don’t correct them. On the one occasion when I told the truth, the 29-year-old guy said: ‘You’re the same age as my mum!’These days, I’ll knock a good eight years off. Not that they seem to care.The other yawning age-gap difference is music. Since starting HRT, I’ve also bought a set of DJ mixing decks and practise at home. I admit this sounds a bit of a midlife crisis, but why not?When I told one of my dates about my decks, we discussed the merits of our favourite DJs and different genres of music. He told me about one DJ sampling a track from Depeche Mode. I love 1980s music and still listen to it today, so I said: ‘You have to listen to the original version.’ I went on to explain that it was everywhere when it was first released.He was shocked when he realised how old I was – but not shocked enough not to have sex that night.Younger men can see I’m older but, by and large, it doesn’t bother them. Meanwhile, I’ll take HRT for as long as I can. As long as I’m on it, it seems I’ve got the energy to live my best life. I have no plans or desire to settle down. I’ve had my child, got a good career and enjoy the lifestyle I have created for myself. I don’t need a man to be a permanent fixture in my life. Besides, no one my age could keep up with me.I’m not grumpy any more, I sleep well and the hot flushes are a thing of the past. And I look like ‘me’ again. When you’re in a good mood and having great sex, it’s written all over your face.* Names have been changedAs told to SAMANTHA BRICK