Show Caption
Most couples have sex at night. Intuitively, it makes sense – you’re already in bed with your partner, and there are fewer interruptions from work, kids or notifications. But one sleep expert says biologically, these couples are doing it all wrong. According to research from clinical psychologist and sleep expert Dr. Michael Breus, most people are intimate right before falling asleep – between 10:30 and 11:30 p.m. – but their hormonal profile at that hour is “literally the opposite” of what makes for successful sex. A clip of him making the case against late-night sex on the Diary of a CEO podcast received nearly 1 million views on X in early May 2026. “You want to have estrogen, testosterone, progesterone, adrenaline and cortisol all to be high, and melatonin to be low,” he said on the podcast. “People actually have greater connection and greater performance in their sex when they have sex in the morning.” Breus has been studying sleep for over 20 years, but was drawn to the intersection of sleep and sex for one reason.“Once you start looking at sleep schedules, there's basically only two things that you do in bed,” he says. “Sleep and sex.”Biological markers like estrogen and testosterone peak in the morningEstrogen, which peaks in the early hours, promotes vaginal lubrication and increases sexual desires. However, progesterone is also highest in the morning, but high levels of progesterone, particularly in the second half of the menstrual cycle, can suppress libido. For men, testosterone levels peak in the morning, which is correlated with high sex drive and performance. Across all genders, cortisol peaks in the morning to help wake you up, and adrenaline reaches its lowest around bedtime. Not everyone’s body clock runs the same way.From speaking with couples, Breus found that when couples tried morning intimacy, women often reported feeling more emotionally present and connected, having more energy to engage and initiate, and more enjoyment overall. “With the men, overwhelmingly, they said they felt as though they performed better,” he says. “They also felt that their desire was moreso in the morning. That actually tracks very well with testosterone.”But he admits that there’s no universal “best time,” to have sex; rather, matching circadian rhythms between partners (having the same “chronotype”) can improve satisfaction.This can mean being “early birds” or “night owls.” An early-bird may wake up early on their own, feel most alert in the morning and get sleepy earlier in the evening, he explains. A night owl struggles with early mornings, hits their stride later in the day and feels more awake and social at night. Breus argues that better intimacy – either alone or with a partner – happens when you sync intimacy with that circadian rhythm, rather than just your calendar. For a true early bird, a 10:45 p.m. sex window may land squarely in their biological “shut-down” phase. For a night owl, that same window might feel relatively natural. For mismatched couples, Breus recommends identifying each partner’s chronotype and finding overlapping windows. In his book, “The Power of When: Discover Your Chronotype,” he shares tables with “compromise zones,” suggesting that couples try a slightly earlier evening slot, or a late-morning time when possible. “Once you understand what your hormonal profile is, I can tell you the perfect time of day to have sex, eat a cheeseburger, ask your boss for a raise, email, drink coffee, drink alcohol,” he says. “And it's all based on timing.”
