Today, in what will doubtless be just the first of many irritations inflicted on the unfortunate people of Makerfield, Labour launched their by-election campaign. The latest movement in what already feels like the 118th Brumaire of Andy Burnham.
The location he had chosen for the launch was a patch of irradiated tarmac; the sort of place criminals might take a mini fridge for an unceremonious fly-tipping. A van, parked on a slope, had a digital billboard attached, depicting a bizarre big-headed avatar of Burnham himself. It resembled a Funko Pop doll, the Japanese-inspired bits of plastic for which nerdy teenagers depart with obscene amounts of cash.
Next to the doll face was a plea: ‘Vote Andy for us’. Labour seems to specialise in these syntactically nonsensical slogans; is it asking people to commit electoral fraud? Is it an attempt to have Burnham extradited to the United States? Or have Labour just realised that their best bet is to come across as pitiable and craven as possible?
If I were Sir Keir, I’d cling to Burnham’s side
Around the van of doom were gathered a crowd holding placards bearing the same slogan. There were some signs that alluded to Labour, but these were mostly confined to the edges, presumably for easy cropping, like boyfriends not expected to make the course in a family wedding photo. Amongst this gaggle was Jonathan Reynolds, the chief whip who is, hilariously, in charge of maintaining Starmer’s authority. Yet the vagaries of party politics mean that here he was having to cheer on his would-be-executioner. His face said it all; he stood behind Burnham like a bald and bearded Madame Ceausescu.
