The Stanley Cup playoffs have been going on for over a month now, and I think I speak for everyone when I say that we’re very disappointed.Not over everything, because a lot of this year’s postseason has been pretty fun. But we’re hockey fans, and we like to be cranky. And like every season, the playoffs give us plenty of opportunity to single out individual players for a disapproving head-shake or two.Today, we’re making a team out of those guys. We’ll be building a full 21-man roster, which is to say 12 forwards, six blueliners and three goalies, because bad teams always need an extra option in net. As always, we’ll work with two key rules. First, no team can have more than three players, because we want to spread the love resentment. And second, all 16 playoff teams need to have at least one rep.And yes, that rule also applies to the four teams that are still alive, meaning we’re virtually guaranteed to pick at least one player who immediately blows up and causes a flood of “this aged well” comments to come our way. That’s the risk we’re willing to take, because we do not learn from past mistakes around here.Like all great teams, we’ll build from the net out.GoaliesConnor Ingram, Edmonton OilersTristan Jarry, Edmonton OilersYes, both. After extensive back-and-forth debate with myself over which guy deserved the spot, it was decided that we needed to recognize both — the guy Stan Bowman bet a season of Connor McDavid’s prime on in a terrible midseason trade, and the guy they inevitably had to turn to when the first guy couldn’t even hold the job.And to be clear, neither of these goalies were truly awful against Anaheim. That’s kind of a theme in this year’s playoffs, where we didn’t get our typical truly terrible goaltending performance in a series or two. And it’s not like Stuart Skinner was much better in Pittsburgh’s loss. But opportunity cost is real, and we’re still waiting to find out just how much Bowman’s blunder may have cost the Oilers.Lukáš Dostál, Anaheim DucksHere’s a stat that surprised me: Dostál posted the worst save percentage of any goalie who played more than one game in this year’s playoffs, with his .870 coming in behind guys such as Skinner, Ingram, Jarry and Ukko-Pekka Luukkonen. Some of that is that he was facing high-powered offenses, and the Ducks aren’t exactly the most defensively focused team. But while Dostál wasn’t bad, it’s probably fair to say there was no way the Ducks were going deep unless he was good. And he really wasn’t.DefenseCharlie McAvoy, Boston BruinsHe followed the best offensive season of his career with just two assists against the Sabres, and no points at all in the final three games of the series. At five-on-five, the Bruins were outscored 8-4 with him on the ice. And with just minutes left in the series finale, he took a slashing major that will cost him six games at the start of next season. The only good news is that he’s now gone a few days in a row without getting hit in the mouth for the first time all year.Thomas Harley, Dallas StarsIt was a bit of a weird year for Harley, who saw his offensive numbers drop after finishing seventh in last year’s Norris voting. It got worse in the playoffs, where he was held without a point against the Wild; that was the only six-game stretch all year where he didn’t find the scoresheet. Worse, he was a minus-6 on the series, including being on the ice for just two goals for and seven against at five-on-five. His underlying numbers were better, but the results were missing entirely. You could dig into some of those numbers and make a case for Tyler Myers and (maybe) even Miro Heiskanen here instead, but Harley is the more straightforward pick.Cale Makar, Colorado AvalancheHere’s the first of our four picks from teams that are still alive, and it’s a doozy. Look, Makar is very obviously playing hurt, and he still has four goals to show for his postseason. But he hasn’t had a point since Game 1 against the Wild, which was that wacky 9-6 game where even you ended up with a couple of secondary assists. This pick is less about criticizing Makar than pointing out the Avs are dominating without him doing all that much, which should be a terrifying thought for the rest of the league now that he’s had some time to rest up.Darnell Nurse went pointless for the Oilers in the playoffs. (Corinne Votaw / Imagn Images)Darnell Nurse, Edmonton OilersThree key reasons to put Nurse on this list. First, whether it’s fair or not, his contract continues to make him an easy scapegoat when things don’t go well in Edmonton. Second, he didn’t do himself any favors by going pointless in six games. Third, and probably most importantly: by using up all three of my Oiler spots early, I get to avoid the question of whether an injured Connor McDavid should make the roster after scoring just once. The postseason is no place for cowardice, but luckily for me, my couch still is.Rasmus Andersson, Vegas Golden KnightsHe’s certainly had his moments since coming over from Calgary in the Knights’ annual midseason blockbuster. But for the most part, he just hasn’t seemed to fully click in Vegas, and that trend has continued into the postseason, where his only primary point is an assist in the series finale against the Ducks that upped a late lead from 4-1 to 5-1. The defensive numbers have been good but not great, especially given the Knights haven’t exactly been facing elite teams. That will change in Round 3. Maybe Andersson’s narrative will too.Jake Middleton, Minnesota WildThere aren’t any truly obvious candidates on the Wild, who you could argue were a good team that played an excellent first round and then had the bad luck to run into a steamroller. Their best players were fantastic, most of the depth guys chipped in, and we’re not going to pick on Filip Gustavsson over one bad game. So that leaves Middleton, whose second pair with Jared Spurgeon did get caved in for long stretches, especially against Colorado. He had some interesting comments about that in this piece, and it’s true there’s more to analyzing someone’s play than just the numbers. Still, the defensive results were often ugly, and the offensive side totaled just one secondary assist that came on an empty-net goal.ForwardsBrady Tkachuk, Ottawa SenatorsYou know the number by now: Zero, as in zero points in a series his team always seemed one goal away from being competitive in. Blame the off-ice distractions and white noise if you want, but the Senators didn’t score a single goal with Tkachuk on the ice at five-on-five. It was only a few months ago that some were seriously suggesting he should be the captain of Team USA at the Olympics because he was a known big-game player. He’ll have to settle for being captain of our all-playoff-bust team instead.Nikita Kucherov, Tampa Bay LightningBrayden Point, Tampa Bay LightningPoint is a relatively straightforward pick here, with just one point in seven games. Kucherov is a bit tougher — he had six points, and his goal to tie Game 2 late in regulation was an early-series turning point. The problem is that goal was his only one, and all six points came in the first four games of the series. With the series tied 2-2 and three one-goal games to come, Kucherov largely disappeared. Should three quiet games be enough to make this list? When you’re an MVP finalist and your aging team’s window seems to be slamming shut, I think it should be.Adrian Kempe, Los Angeles KingsIt feels almost mean to pick a King for this list, since nobody gave them any kind of shot against the Avalanche … correctly, as it turns out. Would more production than one goal and one assist from their leading scorer have made a difference in the final result? No, but it might have kept the Kings from getting swept and at least avoided those “worst playoff team of the era” conversations.JJ Peterka, Utah MammothRemember when he was one of the offseason’s biggest available names, subject of a sweepstakes that the Mammoth won to generally positive reviews? One season later, Utah fans have to be wondering whether Josh Doan is already the better player. It’s probably still too early to tell, but zero points in six playoff games sure isn’t doing much to flip the narrative.Matvei Michkov, Philadelphia FlyersNo goals, just one assist, and a couple of healthy scratches, including one that came with his team’s season on the line. He’s only 21 and still has a lot of learning to do, so maybe we look back on this someday as an important learning experience. But it was a tough watch.Mason McTavish, Anaheim DucksIt’s hard to look at the Ducks’ season as a whole as anything other than a massive success. But every team has a few stragglers, and McTavish is a relatively easy call after contributing just one goal and spending two games as a healthy scratch. At 23 and only one year into a $42 million extension, it would have been nice to see him answer some of the doubters in the playoffs. Instead, he probably fed them.Cole Caufield, Montreal CanadiensOf all 16 teams in this year’s postseason, Montreal might be the hardest team to pick a disappointing player for. Maybe you make the case for Noah Dobson, who’s probably not fully healthy after returning against the Lightning. But when it comes to Caufield, I know two things for sure: He has just one point at even strength through two rounds, and Canadiens fans will be super chill about this pick when he explodes against Carolina.Jamie Benn, Dallas StarsThere are few sadder sights in the playoffs than an aging captain who just doesn’t have it anymore. There are some tough decisions coming in Dallas, but for now, the nicest thing we can say about Benn’s pointless performance is that it was easy to forget he was even playing.Anthony Mantha, Pittsburgh PenguinsThe Pens are a weird team for this exercise. On the one hand, almost anyone on the roster could be a candidate with nobody scoring more than twice, as they were never really competitive in a series in which they were the favorite. On the other hand, they’re weren’t even supposed to make the playoffs, so how harshly do you really want to grade them? In the end, I went with Mantha as their lone rep, after he followed a career-best 33-goal season with just a lone assist against the Flyers.Alex Tuch, Buffalo SabresWe could probably expand our options for Buffalo to “anyone who shared the ice with Phillip Danault,” but at least Tage Thompson put some offense on the board in Game 6. Tuch followed a strong showing against the Bruins with a pointless series against Montreal. You never want to see that, but you especially don’t want to see it when you’re supposed to be on the verge of hitting the UFA jackpot.Sebastian Aho, Carolina HurricanesFinally, we saved arguably the toughest pick for last. How do you pick a “disappointing” player from a team that’s run the table through two rounds? If you’re smart, you don’t. If you’re me, you simply point out that Aho has four points and two of them came on empty-net goals, then sit back and wait for the inevitable Game 1 hat trick.