A moment that changed me: I was wary of men – then I found out I was having a baby boy

When I became pregnant, all I wanted was a healthy baby. Discovering I would be having a son gave me a new perspective on the narratives around masculinity

A

t the 20-week ultrasound, because of the baby’s position, my partner and I didn’t get any proper pictures to take home. Instead, the sonographer printed us a shot of the genitals. So, there it was, in black and white: I was having a boy.

Growing up, boys were a slightly alien concept. Our household was female-heavy – a mum, two sisters, a dad with no interest in conventional “boy stuff”. We did have two male cats, neutered, extremely fluffy and ironically named Mr White and Mr Orange by my dad (“Reservoir Cats”).

While in secondary school, an all-girls establishment where boys became more like mythical creatures than real people, I did briefly acquire a “boyfriend” – a fellow 12-year-old whom I met in a park once and spoke to twice on my parents’ landline. But that was about it.