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There are approximately 72 shopping hours left in this transfer window and, once again, it’s been a bit of a weird one so far. The bean-counting boffins over at Transfermarkt reckon that Premier League sides have splurged a collective £300m on players, on course for the second-biggest January spend in the last 10 years (behind only the chaos of 2023, when Chelsea splurged £270m on their own). It doesn’t really feel like that, does it? Even the list of the top flight’s biggest outlays this month quickly descends into a cluster of players we’ve only heard of from Football Manager, if at all. If anyone can tell us who Brian Madjo, Rayan and Kaye Furo signed for without consulting Big Transfer Guide, you’ll win our much-coveted respect.

A few memorable big-money deals aside, January is usually more of a bargain-bin scramble than a luxury shopping spree. The adage these days is that clubs only spend big in the winter if they’re in big trouble. While Manchester City and Aston Villa have bucked that trend, it’s worth noting that Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester United and Newcastle are all yet to open their chequebooks/PayPal accounts at all this month.