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“Winning the transfer window” is common parlance these days, despite its entire premise lacking anything like common sense. Some players come good/go bad quicker/slower than others. But such is the binary nature of football’s unrelenting push towards being a mercantile, rather than sporting pursuit, that Football Daily is all too happy to throw itself into such nonsense. It’s what we’re here for, in all honesty.
In a world of “here we go”, “preparing a bid” and “agreements reached”, this summer’s final boss is Alexander Isak. He’s the striker everyone wants, Newcastle most of all, during what must now be termed “a troubled pre-season”. To use more common parlance, the 25-year-old Swedish hitman, the best player on Tyneside since Alan Shearer was king creosote, is now a “wantaway striker”, to use even more common parlance. “Eddie Howe has to use all his persuasive powers to do what he can and try to make him stay at least one more year,” wailed Wor Alan himself. About those persuasive powers: Newcastle have chased down Bryan Mbeumo, João Pedro, Matheus Cunha, Dean Huijsen, Liam Delap, James Trafford and Hugo Ekitike … and none of them were welcomed by a soft-focus social media disgrace video featuring Sam Fender breathily singing the lyrics of Alan Hull. All headed elsewhere. Thus far, only Anthony Elanga for a pricey-looking £55m has arrived.
