My daughter is leaving for university. How can I support her – and cope with the loss?

It might seem like all gains for her and all losses for you, but it’s really the start of an exciting new chapter in your relationship

I am a single mum to an 18-year-old daughter. It has always been just us two, and we have a very open, supportive, healthy relationship.

She is going away to university in the new year and has recently developed a new friendship group I know less well than her old friends. They all seem friendly, look out for each other, and don’t let anyone go home on their own, etc. At first, I found her being out late with her friends particularly worrying. It took me a few days to get used to this new part of life, but we talked and I got across to her that it’s purely me worrying about her safety – I think she felt I was annoyed with her. I just worry, though I really appreciate that she keeps me informed of where she is, and I know many 18-year-olds wouldn’t be so open.

Now one friend is becoming a boyfriend and staying over. It seems very fast and I’m struggling to take it in. This empty nest is happening more suddenly than I expected and I miss her even though she hasn’t left yet.

I know I have no control. I know I have to just be there for her and keep communication channels open. But should I do more? I suppose there are two issues: is this OK for her; and how do I get through this period?