As a relationship counselor with over 10 years of experience, I’ve learned that even the strongest couples face conflict. What sets emotionally intelligent couples apart is their ability to stay connected, even when disagreements arise.
I’m often more concerned about couples who never fight, because avoiding conflict entirely can hide unresolved hurts. After all, the closer you are, the more likely ruptures are to happen, and how you handle them matters.
Here are three things emotionally intelligent couples do differently when they are in conflict.
We’ve all been there. One sharp comment can seem like an attack on your character. For example, you forget to text back and it is interpreted as not caring. A request for space could be misconstrued as abandonment.
Research shows that when couples are distressed, they’re more likely to interpret a partner’s behavior in ways that make it feel intentional, fixed, and personal (“you did this because you’re that kind of person”). Psychologists call this “negative attribution bias.”
