If you’ve ever shown up at a party at the appointed hour to find the host in a sweaty, panicked mess, you’ve probably never arrived on time again. On the other hand, we can all probably remember our favorite host, the one who makes it all seem easy and who shows everyone a great time, no matter the occasion. “The demeanor of the host sets the stage for the night,” said event designer and producer Colin Cowie, who is the author of 11 books on lifestyle and entertaining, including “The Gold Standard: Giving Your Customers What They Didn’t Know They Wanted.” “This comes from being well-prepared and doing as much in advance as possible. The savvy host today is the resourceful one who knows where to find services to help vs. thinking you need to do everything herself.”That said, it’s a lot easier to have that cool demeanor if you’ve already done the major heavy lifting of event planning. Here’s guidance from expert entertainers on how to create a well-oiled party machine that hums along on the big night. miniseries via Getty ImagesYou’re the most important person in the room when it comes to setting the tone for how people connect.Make the vibes extremely clear on the invite.Just because you know what the party’s all about, remember that it will all be fresh news to your prospective guests. Consider possible queries in advance and answer them in your invitation. “If you set the tone early and provide all the details, everyone relaxes and that’s when the real fun begins,” said Robin Selden, managing partner and executive chef at Marcia Selden Catering and Naked Fig Catering.Can you guess what the most frequent question is for party hosts? “It’s ‘What should I wear?’” said Kristin Mitchell, founder and creative event director at creative event agency Gathered In Style. “When guests know what to expect and how to show up, it instantly removes stress and helps them feel more confident and excited to attend.”You may think it’s a little too fancy, but these experts are all fans of seating charts. “If you’re hosting a seated dinner for more than four people, place cards are essential,” Mitchell said. “Guests want to be guided, since it removes any uncertainty about where to sit and helps create dynamic conversation around the table.” Cowie had more seating chart tips: “Separate the couples, but put interesting people with something in common next to each other.” Plan in advance.If you do enough work in advance, you can be way more chill during the party. To help you achieve that goal, there’s nothing wrong with trying to take control, Selden said. “My secret recipe for a stress-free soirée is, without question, to embrace my A+ personality/control freak self in the lead-up so that I can glide through the actual party with ease. Do as much as you can ahead of time, as you will thank yourself.” “The No. 1 thing that makes gatherings calm is solid planning — like, days in advance,” Mitchell said. “You should have your food and beverages, a décor plan mapped out and loosely set up, and prepped anything that can be made ahead of time. If you’re saving things for the last minute, that’s a recipe for chaos, and no one wants a frantic host.”Cowie shared some of the many things that can be done before that first ring of the doorbell. “Set your table the day before, do your shopping the day before and make a foolproof make/buy-in-advance menu that allows you to be a guest at your own party.”Diana Sullivan, owner and creative director of Jubilee Events, suggested that, as you’re planning, you can determine must-haves from chores that aren’t mission-critical: “Make a list of the things that excited you about hosting in the first place,” she said. “This could be who joins you, what you cook and any activities that you know the guests are going to love. If something doesn’t set your heart on fire, then don’t force yourself to include it in your plans.”Ask for help.You don’t have to do this all by yourself, the experts said. Selden noted, “While many of us, including me, think we wear capes and can do it all, you can ease some of the stress and delegate tasks to friends and family. If you’re feeling shy about asking for help, remember that the answer will always be no unless you ask, and I guarantee you will get many yesses if you just put it out there.”Mitchell suggested avoiding cooking anything new or elaborate from scratch on the day of your party, unless it’s something you’re already very comfortable with making. “Instead, focus your energy on making one standout dish that you make in advance, and don’t be afraid to lean on great store-bought options for the rest. I love serving passed hors d’oeuvres from Trader Joe’s. They’re always a crowd-pleaser, and passing them creates a more elevated, interactive experience than having guests serve themselves from a buffet.”Finally, Cowie said to give yourself a little hosting boost by having fun and using the decorations and serving items you love most. “Don’t leave silver and fine china for the annual Thanksgiving dinner,” he said. “Use them daily, because you deserve it.”5m3photos via Getty ImagesLittle details — like making sure guests can easily find extra rolls of toilet paper — can make a big difference.Put yourself in your guests’ shoes.As you begin planning the party, do a walk-through of your house from your guests’ POV and see what you need to do differently. “The biggest mistake I see amateur hosts make is not thinking through the guest experience,” Mitchell said. “This matters with small things like being greeted at the door and welcomed, includes having a place to put wraps and bags, and even extends into the way the space looks and smells.” It covers every aspect of spending time in someone’s home, she added. “Please make sure there’s extra toilet paper in an easy-to-find spot in the restroom and that the hand soap is filled. There’s nothing more awkward than a guest having to tell you you’ve run out.”Keep that guest-first mindset throughout the evening, but especially in the first moments after arrival. “Remember that guests in attendance are there because you want them to be there,” Sullivan said. “Show them this by taking their coat, showing them inside your home, inviting them into groups already present or making them a drink.”Remember what guests would like most of all, Cowie said: “The biggest mistake most people make is thinking they need to impress people when they host. That’s so wrong — the goal is to make guests feel as welcome and at home as possible.”Make connections between your guests.You’re the most important person in the room when it comes to setting the tone for how people connect, Mitchell said. “You can’t get stuck talking to just one person or group for too long, because your job is to keep the energy moving. Circulate the room, check in with everyone and connect conversations as you go. “Before any gathering, I always have a mental list of people I want to connect with each other. As soon as both guests arrive, I’ll say, ‘There’s someone I want you to meet!’ and introduce them with a bit of context about what they have in common,” Mitchell said. “It instantly breaks the ice and gives them a new friend at the party, whom they might not have met otherwise.”Sullivan said that giving guests a job, like prepping food, making cocktails or organizing gifts, is a great way to connect them to others: “As a newbie, having the host invite me into conversations with others I don’t know or make me a part of preparation that may still be taking place, has always been an unpressured way to mingle and become fast friends with other guests.”When you’re trying to connect everyone present, Cowie has a surefire tip: “As someone who hosts several times a week in my home, I always do a welcome toast. I talk about the person I am honoring or go around the table and have something fun and entertaining to say about each guest.”Forget perfection and have fun.Whether it’s the party of the century or a simple game night with friends, take it easy on yourself, these experts said. “Hosting takes practice, and not everything will go perfectly — but that’s OK,” Mitchell said. “The goal is to create great energy, not a flawless night.”“Don’t feel as though perfect is the goal to achieve,” Sullivan said. “Guests crave time well spent, good food and drink and a comfortable atmosphere, so by planning with those elements in mind, you’re bound to create a much more memorable event rather than one that feels overdone, pressured or stressful.”