If you want to form meaningful relationships and live a happier life, stop trying to fit in, says bestselling author and vulnerability researcher Brené Brown.
Forcing yourself to act like or adopt the beliefs of those around you won’t actually help you feel connected to a person or a group, Brown said on a Nov. 3 episode of “The Diary of a CEO” podcast. Instead, if you want to feel like you belong, be honest about how you feel and what you think — about hobbies, politics or current events — to form genuine relationships with others, she said.
The more you regularly feel connected with others, the more social fitness — or, the ability to form and maintain positive relationships — you might develop. Social fitness is the No. 1 most important factor for living a longer and happier life, according to a 87-year ongoing Harvard University study.
“True belonging requires us to be who we are, not change who we are,” Brown said on the podcast, adding: “The problem is that that chameleon skillset means that in order to fit in, the first person you betray is yourself. We’ve got to be able to stand alone.”
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