Five years ago, HuffPost published an essay I wrote about my 2019 brain bleed operation that left four significant “holes,” or dents, in my skull. I described in the piece my struggle to accept my new somewhat “deformed” appearance.
Here’s part of what I wrote:
“Yet, the surgery left me with four significant ‘holes’ (dents) in my skull — a freakish sort of look on my bald head that is a bit overwhelming for me. It is a radical change in my appearance that has created profound feelings of insecurity. … When I’m out in public now, I notice the looks I get from strangers, most of which seem to say, ‘Yikes! WTF?’ Some [people] … literally gasped when they saw me.”
I also mentioned that I was considering another brain surgery to have titanium plates inserted in the holes to make them visibly less severe.
I wrote the essay as part of my recovery process from the trauma of brain surgery. Throughout my life, writing has provided a way for me to process events and come to grips with both setbacks and achievements. My hope was that writing the piece would help me articulate my deepest fears and insecurities from the experience and allow me to move forward. I didn’t anticipate an intense reaction. Boy was I wrong.
