I published an essay entitled, “I’m A Surgeon. I’m Also Child-Free — And 6 Words From A Colleague About My Life Left Me Stunned,” on HuffPost Personal in 2024. The morning it went live, my alarm jolted me from sleep well before sunlight filled the sky. I grabbed my phone, swiped it open to see the headlines, and there, smack dab in the middle of my news feed, I saw my name. The day had hardly begun... and I was already trending.
I had revealed my most private feelings about my reproductive life and detailed how my choice not to have children was repeatedly called out in professional settings. I was confident that whether I had kids or not did not determine my worth as a person. In the 21st century, it should not be controversial to say that some women choose other paths. And, still, that morning, I was nervous about sharing all this in such a public way.
Those nerves only proved my social conditioning. Women without kids are still viewed within the context of rigid stereotypes. I was anxious about how my essay — and I — would be perceived, and I worried it wouldn’t be good.
Then something unexpected happened. I was inundated with messages. Over the next week, my Instagram, the essay’s comment section, and even my work email were flooded with a huge outpouring of gratitude and positivity. Women wrote to thank me for sharing what they felt but couldn’t vocalize, for helping dispel the myth that women without kids are selfish and cold, and for making it clear that women don’t need to apologize for choosing not to have children. More people felt like me than I ever would have guessed.
