When I first discovered this vaguely troubling symptom, I embarked upon my tried-and-tested routine for dealing with such things: 1. Pretend it’s not there. 2. Acknowledge it is. 3. Convince myself it’s growing
The NHS is a funny fish. It often kind of almost works brilliantly. Almost but frustratingly, not quite.
I had this thing on the back of my shoulder which, being where it was, I couldn’t quite see. I could feel it though. A moley, warty thing. I’ll spare you a fuller description.
And so I embarked upon my tried-and-tested routine for dealing with vaguely troubling symptoms: 1. Pretend it’s not there. 2. Acknowledge it is. 3. Convince myself it’s growing. 4. Get a loved one to take a photo of it. 5. Examine photo, gagging slightly. 6. Send to doctor friend, who says go to GP. 7. Forget about it. 8. Remember it. 9. Try and fail to get GP appointment. 10. Forget about it again. 11. Remember it again. 12. Try harder to get GP appointment and therefore succeed.
All this time of course, I’m veering between two opposing convictions: one that it’s fatal, two that it’s nothing. And in the gap between those things, nothing happens.
