A Halloween screening doesn’t have to mean being scared witless. From serene sushi-making to a shell with shoes on, we run down the finest films for those of a nervous disposition
Just so we’re all clear on the brief, tomorrow is Halloween. But some people do not like scary films. Some people do not like films where there are any intense emotional moments whatsoever. This is mostly a list of those films. So, for example, Up cannot be included in the lineup because its first 10 minutes are genuinely traumatising. Similarly, Finding Nemo cannot be included because it is a film about a grief-stricken father searching for a son he believes might be dead. But Cars, a film about some cars, can. The scariest that Cars gets is when a car has a near-miss with a train. Other than that, barely any jeopardy at all.
However, this isn’t to say that all these films have to be for children. If you’re looking to keep your heartbeat at a consistently low thud, Louis Malle’s My Dinner with Andre fits the bill perfectly. Though rated 12, for infrequent moderate sex references, it’s fair to say that nothing at all happens here. Two men have dinner and talk a lot, and then it ends. A small army of viewers are quick to call My Dinner with Andre the most boring film ever made. It isn’t – a kinder read would be to call it deliberately cerebral – but nothing about it will keep you up at night.
