I grew up in Kabul and Karachi. In both, I learned the value of the quiet rituals observed while no one is watching
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hen I was leaving London for Melbourne, my eldest sister-in-law told her kids not to forget the “tradition” – to throw a bowl of water behind me as I stepped out the door. Just a small splash on the ground, a gesture older than borders. “La har azaab po aman se,” she whispered in Pashto under her breath – may all hardship stay away from you. The little ones giggled and waved their goodbyes as they spilled the water, somewhere between shy and amused.
My mother used to do this too, back in Afghanistan. Every time I left for a journey, especially international ones, she’d quietly follow me to the gate with a bowl of water, whispering prayers I couldn’t always hear. But this moment, between two western cities, with children growing up in a world so far from where that habit began, felt different. It was softer. Bittersweet. Like watching an old song being hummed in a new language.
I grew up between Kabul and Karachi; two cities that always felt like they were on the edge of something. One broken by war, the other always just holding itself together amid all sorts of hardships of a city outgrowing itself but starved of resources and infrastructure. In both, I learned that people survive not just through faith but through the small things they do when no one’s watching; the quiet rituals and little beliefs that live in everyday life. They’re not loud, not official. But they’re full of love and hope.
