Q. Before I got breast cancer, my career was a huge part of my identity. When I was diagnosed everything changed. My treatment forced me to take a step back, I had to let go of the version of myself that could give 150 per cent all the time.
My boss was incredible throughout — she was really supportive and genuinely kind. When I came back to work, she gave me time to adjust, checked in regularly and didn’t pressure me to take on more than I could manage. And I know I’ve needed that space. I’m still on medication and get exhausted. There are days when fear blindsides me out of nowhere. I’m not “back to normal” and I don’t think I ever will be.
But lately I’ve noticed that other people are being promoted. They’re being given the kinds of opportunities I used to get. And while I understand why (after all I’m the one who made it clear I needed to go gently!) I also feel this creeping sense of being left behind. I’m scared to ask for more. What if I can’t always deliver? What if I try and then crash?
I keep thinking: maybe once I feel totally fine again, then I’ll go for it. But what if that day never comes? What if this is just how it is now? Does that mean I don’t get to want more from my job? I feel guilty even thinking about promotions when I’ve already needed so much help. But I also don’t want to live in a professional waiting room for ever. How do I ask for more without feeling like I’m betraying the support I’ve been given?
