As the crowds filed into the main hall, a crack team of staffers darted about the conference floor handing out little polyester flags on plastic flag poles. All nations of the United Kingdom were there. The Union Jacks proved very popular, as did the St George crosses and Welsh dragons. By the time they reached the back, the delegates had to make do with whatever was left, which appeared to be entirely Scottish saltires.
No one seemed to mind. While we waited for the prime minister to arrive, they played the obligatory pre-roll video, featuring an increasingly bizarre list of Labour’s many achievements in government thus far, each of which sent the crowds into gentle paroxysms of delight. They went especially wild at news of “700,000 extra dental appointments”.
In the back rows, the saltires were raised aloft and waved. Party conferences are profoundly odd events. Rarely are they odder than when the appearance on a giant video screen of the words “Ninja swords outlawed” is celebrated as if it were Archie Gemmill’s goal against the Netherlands at the 1978 World Cup.
Delegates cheer Keir Starmer’s speech
OLI SCARFF/AFP/GETTY IMAGES
