For the parents who spend a lot of time stressing over the mistakes they make raising their kids, Harvard University professor Arthur Brooks has some words of advice: Don’t worry.
“You will make a lot of mistakes, but mostly they won’t matter,” Brooks, a social scientist and happiness researcher, writes in his newest book, “The Happiness Files,” which published on August 12. Rather than spending time and energy stressing over every small parenting misstep, let the little things go — even if they feel big at the time — and focus more broadly on setting positives example for your kids and showing them unconditional love, he advises.
Brooks, who now has three adult kids, writes that he often stressed about his son’s middle school grades. The more time he spent “bugging” his son about grades, the more strained their relationship became —until he realized that he actually cared more about his kids growing up to be “good and happy people” than the details of their academic transcripts, he writes.
Instead of harping on grades, Brooks shifted the focus of his conversations with his son to “talking about values,” like how to be a thoughtful, ethical and responsible person, he writes. “It was a relief for both of us.” Today, Brooks and his now-23-year-old son “talk every single day; and despite all of my missteps, he turned out just fine. And most likely, so will your child.”
