Many parents’ first instinct when their child is feeling sad, upset or frustrated is to try and cheer them up.
That’s a critical mistake, says Becky Kennedy, a Columbia University-trained clinical psychologist and mom of three. Constantly swooping in to boost your child’s mood during difficult moments hinders their resilience, making them less emotionally and mentally equipped to see their tough circumstances through, she says.
Instead, make it your job to give support or advice, and be a listening ear — not a superhero — when needed, Kennedy says.
“A parent’s job is never to make their kid happy or to smooth every bump in the road,” says Kennedy, the host of the “Good Inside” parenting podcast. “Our job in those hard moments ... is to see a more capable version of our kid than they can access [themselves].”
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