I used to have wonderful vaginal orgasms. Why did they stop – and how can I get them back?

My husband and I still have sex – but something’s missing. Is stress the culprit?

I’m a woman in my 50s and have been with my husband for decades. We have always had a wonderful sex life and I used to be able to climax vaginally very easily, often without clitoral stimulation. During an eventful time for the family a couple of years ago, my libido and ability to climax disappeared, though they did eventually return. A few months ago, I had a health crisis, which has slightly impaired my coordination on one side. Although I have recovered very well, I am again experiencing a loss of libido and sexual sensation.

We continue to have sex regularly and I enjoy the intimacy. I can climax with clitoral stimulation but it takes a long time and can be almost physically painful. I really miss vaginal orgasms and the release they brought. Although I am of perimenopausal age, I have no obvious symptoms and a hormone test came back normal.

I have felt very emotionally vulnerable and frustrated during my convalescence, so I’m wondering whether stress is the problem. My self-esteem has been affected by my physical disability, but my kind, patient husband always makes me feel desired.

Stress is known to affect a person’s sexuality at various stages, including desire, orgasmic ability and physical arousal. Fatigue and pain can also be culprits, as can many types of physical illnesses or conditions. Psychological issues or mood disorders such as depression and anxiety may also affect a person’s ability to experience pleasure in sex, interrupt the lovemaking process and even lead to sexual disorders.