Facing illness is scary, especially if you’ve always been the carer and your family don’t seem to see your needs. The first step is sharing how you feel
I am 53 and my husband is 60. When our relationship started, he was the forgetful one; I tended to remember everything. I have always been mindful that I might need to look after him in his old age. But I am a caring person, and always thought I would manage.
This is not how things have worked out. My husband is pretty healthy, while I am suffering the beginnings of a noticeable cognitive decline – forgetfulness, overwhelm and a decrease in mobility – which I haven’t been to the doctor about yet.
My husband is not a very outwardly caring person, and I have no idea if he will care enough to look after me if I become more immobile or start to forget things more. I want to feel loved, but I don’t. This is sad in itself, and really scary for the future.
I have had some health challenges in the last year and am doing my best to look after myself. My husband gives me a lot of advice about my weight and health, but he doesn’t walk or talk more slowly if I struggle to keep up.
