We’ve all had that friend ― the one who can make you laugh and celebrate your wins, but also slip in stinging comments and backhanded compliments. It’s the kind of person who blurs the line between friend and foe, i.e. the “frenemy.”
“The term frenemy describes someone who is ostensibly a friend, but someone with whom you have a one-sided or unbalanced friendship that is inherently painful and unsatisfying,” psychologist and friendship expert Irene S. Levine told HuffPost. “The person pretends to be a friend and may actually believe they are, but their behavior is more characteristic of an enemy. The person may be undercutting, insincere, unreliable or take advantage of you.”
Unlike genuine friendships, these kinds of relationships involve fake closeness, bad intentions, secret competition, undermining behavior and negative talk behind your back.
“These relationships often create stress instead of comfort,” said psychologist Stefanie Mazer. “It’s hard to build trust with someone who is a ‘frenemy.’ These relationships can be harmful to your mental health. Most of the time, it’s better to step back and put energy into people who are genuine and have your best interest at heart.”
Still, despite the toxicity, many people struggle to let go of frenemies. Below, experts break down the reasons why you might be holding onto these tricky relationships ― and what it says about you.
