We often assume that in order to be happy in life, we need to rely on external forces to change our circumstances, or to validate our choices. But having spent the last 15 years studying the science of happiness, I can tell you that is not the case.
I’m always looking for unexpected insights about how we can be more content. In 2020, researchers from Northern Illinois University surveyed a group of 422 women aged 31 to 77 to better understand the connection between friendships and overall life satisfaction, particularly as we get older.
They found that we actually already have control over the two things that significantly influence our long-term happiness: our approach to aging, and the kind of friend we are.
When I first encountered this study, I was struck by how counterintuitive yet empowering it was. The study participants who were the happiest felt that way not because of luck or circumstance — but because of their own agency.
They were intentional about how they showed up in the world.
