Dating is different for everyone, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. It’s about being yourself, on purpose, in ways that let your people find you
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I’m approaching 30 and I’ve been single since I was 19. What’s more, I haven’t dated anyone. This isn’t a question of labels – I have objectively not seen anyone for 10 years.
I’m a straight man and I have felt quite a bit of shame about not dating and not seeing anyone, and I have lied about my circumstances to family and friends. “Oh, yeah, I’ve been on dates,” and “Oh, yeah, I have a sex life,” are some of the lies I have repeated.
I have more or less gotten over the reasons why I might have isolated myself emotionally from other people. I no longer tell myself that I am unlikable/unlovable, and am open to the idea that other people could be attracted to me. But, I can’t fathom how to meet anyone. I can’t read anyone’s body language, and feel flirt-illiterate. How does a 30-year-old man meet people they might like and be honest about their dating illiteracy and inexperience without compounding the problem?
