We ‘saved ourselves’ for marriage – but our sex life began with disaster. Now she has lost all interest, and couples counselling doesn’t help
I am a 48-year-old man. Both my wife and I come from a conservative background; we believe that sex before marriage is a sin and saved ourselves until we got married in our early 30s. Before getting married, I masturbated but never had any real sex. Our first night turned out to be a disaster. I couldn’t get an erection. However, as the days passed, we managed to have sex but not to my wife’s satisfaction, because I finished within 30 seconds of penetration.
I think I suffer from both erectile dysfunction (ED) and premature ejaculation (PE). My ED is not consistent – I have been prescribed Viagra and use it sometimes – but my PE continues, and is taking a toll on us. My wife is uninterested in sex because she doesn’t get anything out of it. It has been about 15 years now and we have two kids but our sex life has not improved. I tried couples counselling but that was more about building a bond between us (which I believe is not an issue as we love each other and can’t think about being with someone else). The only missing piece in our life is satisfying sex. I would do anything to satisfy my wife but I am feeling helpless.
